Jordan Castro

I want to be cool.

Here is a list of the best Thot puns my friends and I have thot of.

The second-to-last time I saw Darnelle I was going to buy a large quantity of weed from one of his connects because mine was out of town and he set me up to get robbed. The last time I saw him he gave me ~200 Xanax (~1/4th the value of the money he stole from me) and apologized.

The movie time was established through a series of AOL Instant Messenger and text messages. Her buddy profile, in large pink font, read “Age ain’t nothin’ but a number,” which, in retrospect, seems incredibly strange, especially for a 16 year old, but when one is going through puberty most everything can be overlooked or ignored in the name of a potential make-out session.

Rapper Rick Ross – who stole his name from “Freeway” Rick Ross, the real Rick Ross, a former drug kingpin from Los Angeles – was featured in the most recent issue of GQ, where he boasted about his lavish lifestyle, “street cred,” and other things.

The 31-year-old rapper/CEO, who was recently released from Fulton County prison this past July for a number of probation violations brought on by an arrest for driving on the wrong side of the road, plead guilty on Tuesday to “two counts of battery, two counts of reckless conduct, and one count of disorderly conduct for pushing a woman out of his Hummer on January 28.”

Recording sessions for Tha Carter IV began back in 2008 after the release of aforementioned Tha Carter III, but were put on hold and pushed back while Weezy went to jail, where, by the way, he managed to release a full-length studio album.

Hot Sauce Williams, a Cleveland-based restaurant that garnered national attention last year when celebrity chef Michael Symon spoke highly of their ribs and sauce on television, has decided to expand to Colorado and introduce a new menu item: Barbeque sauce infused with marijuana.

Be in a band when your sophomore year starts. This is the new you. Play shows at houses, coffee shops and occasionally small venues. Become friends with older kids in better bands. Adopt radical leftist values and talk about them over late night PBRs and American Spirits at one of their duplexes in a nearby college town.

I walked around the mall. Sydney and Mike bought me “Kissable Massage Lotion” from Victoria’s Secret. At some point, I saw the zombie people being escorted out of the mall by an overweight security guard.

In July 2007, rapper Lil Wayne was arrested and charged with carrying a concealed .40 caliber semi-automatic gun. He went to jail in October of last year and was released this morning, despite MTV’s initial reports of a possible day-long delay. Plans of a homecoming party at a Miami strip club have been confirmed.

Flocka grew up a gangster, selling drugs, hanging out with Gucci Mane and his entourage, living with him mom – and Flockaveli just seems like an extension of that life. He seems to have no concern for being anything except himself. Rap is just another platform for him to “go hard” with his friends and family.

All the windows were closed, and because the air conditioning was turned off, it was around ninety degrees inside. In the living room, there was a kiddy-pool filled with brown water, which the family apparently put there for the animals to drink from.

Have been told multiple times that the singer sounds “like the Cookie Monster.” Lyrics often mention drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, and wanting to die. Enjoy their pop-punk chord progressions/drumbeats and their ‘catchy’ melodies.

48-year-old Bryant Johnson, owner of a million dollar home in one of the most prestigious developments in Solon, dealt drugs around Cleveland’s east side, operating many “stash houses” in neighboring areas.  He was what one would call a “drug kingpin.”

We did a ‘high five’ motion. I leaned over the center console of my car. We hugged. I said something like, “See ya.” He said something like, “Later, man.” While walking away from the car, he looked at me. I waved and smiled a little. He smiled a little, I think.

Uses similes and metaphors often. Delivers ‘punch lines’ well. Seems well versed in pop culture. Seems to have a productive/effective work ethic and a Promethazine-Codeine syrup addiction. Signature ‘noises’ include [lighter ‘flick’/inhale], “young moolah baby,” and [high-pitched laughter].

Based on my goals, creating a Facebook page seems logical. The pros seem to out-weigh the cons, and the cons seem to be in my control and preventable, to some degree. When it comes down to it, Facebook is not inherently good or bad, and is a potentially useful tool.