Johanna Mort

28 Tweets That Prove #AskTrump Was The Hilarious Miracle We All Needed Today

“Is it true that if you say Donald Trump 3 times in the bathroom mirror, the hair in the drain will rise up to shout racial slurs? “

29 Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Of The 2015 Emmys

“Crop circles and anyone who watches the show “Mom” are still among the world’s greatest mysteries.”

7 Emotional Stages Of Watching The Doctor Who Premiere

Freaking out because THE DOCTOR’S ENTRANCE IS THE GREATEST THING IN TELEVISION HISTORY.

16 Things That Happen When You’re Making The Transition From A Trendy Youth To A Practical Adult

You’re equally concerned about the sad state of your retirement plan and what Miley Cyrus is up to these days.

21 Songs About Female Empowerment For When The Patriarchy Is Just Too Much

“Electric Lady” by Janelle Monáe

I’m Guarded And I’m Working On It (Or At Least I’m Trying To)

Opening up to people will always be my biggest flaw. It will always be a make-or-break moment for me, and most of the time, I’ll probably break.

17 Things That Happen When You Have An Addiction To Free Stuff

Costco is YOUR JAM. Sure it’s not technically free because you have to pay the membership fee, but once you’ve paid it, FREE SAMPLES ALL DAY, EVERY DAY.

29 Thoughts Every Woman Has While Casually Swiping Through Tinder

This is definitely the low point of my love life.

23 Perfectly Sarcastic Chandler Bing Quips To Feed Your Hopeless, Awkward, And Desperate For Love Soul

“Hi, I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.”

14 Struggles Of Loving To Cook But Living In A Tiny Apartment

You dream of buying one of those fancy KitchenAid stand mixers, but know that you don’t possibly have the counter space… and it breaks your heart a little bit every day.

BREAKING NEWS: Fat People Already Know That They’re Fat

So to all the people that think they’re “helping” others by spewing vitriolic speech and demeaning other people as a way of “motivating” them to change: get the f*ck out of here. You’re a part of the problem, not the solution.

12 Things That People Who Are Constantly Overwhelmed By Social Media Understand

The number of ways a person can communicate with you is EXHAUSTING. Your sister’s texting you while your best friend is Facebook messaging you and your boss is emailing you and that friend from high school is tweeting at you and now your Instagram has a notification and CAN WE PLEASE JUST TAKE A BREAK???

Books I Read In August (That You Should Read Too)

Since You’ve Been Gone by Morgan Matson. I honestly could not put it down, simply because each time I read a chapter I found myself in a much better mood than I had been in before picking it up. It’s light, it’s hilarious, and it’s unexpectedly heartwarming.