Johanna Mort

Several articles have been circulating recently along the theme of, “For the Girls Who Drink __.”

Thinking you’re doing everything right… and gaining weight.

Netty knows about your secret Hoarders obsession, and instead of mocking your questionable taste, simply recommends similar programs. That’s love.

You’re super excited to be seeing your favorite band, but also feeling an awkward peer pressure to dance like no one’s watching… even though tons of people can see you.

There aren’t any huge expectations placed on the relationship, just the desire to grow old together. And share the remote control. Seriously, I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO SHARE THE REMOTE CONTROL WITH.

Your celebrity look-alike just got bangs, and you suddenly get the urge to try out bangs too.

Preface: for simplicity’s sake, we’ll just give all references to “bullies” one totally random name. Holly Hemmersmitte. She definitely didn’t go to my high school.

“Wait. You haven’t seen Memento?? How can you even call yourself a film major?”

1. You have no idea what day of the week it is.