Johanna Mort

He doesn’t have time for nonsense.

You’ll start with the clichés. Wine, chocolate, ice cream, a funny (but not romantic) movie. You’ll let her talk if she wants, or sit in silence if that’s what she prefers. You’ll leave when she asks.

“When i have a crush on someone I pester them until they die.”

They think Friday and Saturday nights are for something called, “going out.”

Your day consists of 90% lying in bed thinking about all the stuff you should be doing, and 10% pacing around your apartment trying to convince yourself to go do those things.

“Life sucks! And then it gets better, and then it sucks again.”

Swimming in the ocean. Either I wear my glasses and risk losing them to Poseidon, or I don’t wear them and risk not being able to see the Great White swimming straight for me.

Anytime a movie features another country, you immediately need to go there.

What would happen if I just slapped this person right across the face? For no reason. Just… slapped them.

People assume your positive attitude is the result of an easy life.

Sometimes you get super overexcited about the possibility of a relationship, and lose sight on reality for a bit.

They’re like a cat, you fed them once, and now they refuse to leave.