15 Emotional Stages All Californians Go Through When It Rains

Not only are YOU more on edge, all of the other cars around you are freaking out a little that their tires are in contact with water rather than the arid dust of Satan’s garden.

By Johanna Mort

Updated 12 months ago, January 12, 2024

Just in case nobody has broken the news to you: California is in a drought. There’s a reason Twitter was flooded (LOL *sob* I miss water) with jokes that now Mars has more water than California, so when that miracle substance falls from the skies, we tend to get a little worked up.

1. Denial.

You won’t believe the forecasters until water actually abandons the clouds above you and tumbles to the dry earth. You’ve been duped too many times to get your hopes up, and your heart can’t handle that kind of disappointment again. HAHA, Stan Storms. You’re sooooo funny. Predict that chance of rain all you want, but I know the truth. YOU’RE LIARS, ALL LIARS.

2. Vague Hopes.

You wake up in the morning and the sky is actually… cloudy. And the temperature is… chilly. And it feels like rain. Could it be? Could this be the day? NO. DON’T LET NATURE FOOL YOU AGAIN. But….. Maybe… just this once…

3. Shock.

Liquid. Is falling. From the SKY. It’s actually happening! But how? Are you dreaming?? You must be dreaming. If this is a dream, YOU NEVER WANT TO WAKE UP EVER.

4. More Denial.

You convince yourself that it’s not going to last. The rain will fall for ten minutes, and then stop. Typical. *Sobs* The sky fooled you again.

5. UNBRIDLED JOY

Thirty minutes have passed, and it’s STILL RAINING. There doesn’t seem to be an end in sight.

[To the tune of “It’s Raining Men”] IT’S RAINING RAIN. HALLELUJAH. IT’S RAINING RAIN. AMEN.

6. Social Media Excitement!

You have to make sure everyone on Facebook and Twitter and Snapchat and Instagram and LinkedIn knows that it’s raining! They need to enjoy this miracle of precipitation! You log on… and everyone and their cat’s profile is posting about the rain. Oh well. No time to be annoyed, because it’s raining!!

7. Wardrobe Change!

Pull out the scarves! The rain boots! The umbrellas! WEAR ALL THE RAIN GEAR. You don’t have many opportunities to wear them, so you’re sure as HELL wearing them today!*

*Alternate possibility: Be completely unprepared for this foreign weather. Run your errands in a light jacket and flip-flops, because you live in California. You never thought you would need anything more water resistant than a wind breaker. Oops.

8. Sing All Up In That Rain!

You’re Gene Kelly! You’re a freshly escaped Andy Dufresne from Shawshank Redemption! You don’t care that it’s massively cliché to stand out in the rain and just soak it in! This ~literally~ never happens, so you’re going to be cliché AF.

9. What is driving.

You haven’t had to deal with actual weather conditions when driving in AGES, so it’s really not your fault that you’re a little out of your element right now. Plus, everyone else on the road is thinking the same thing, so not only are YOU more on edge, all of the other cars around you are freaking out a little that their tires are in contact with water rather than the arid dust of Satan’s garden.

10. Rainy Day Bucket List.

There are certain activities that are just better when done in the rain, so you need to make sure that you at least attempt to take advantage of this gloriously damp weather. Read your book next to the window with a hot beverage! Ponder the meaning of Life! Listen to acoustic music! Find someone to kiss in the rain! THESE OPPORTUNITIES CANNOT BE WASTED.

11. Daydreaming.

It hasn’t even rained for a full day, but you’re already imagining a life without drought. If this rain keeps up, you’ll be able to take long showers! Wash your car whenever you feel like it! Raise a few non-drought-tolerant plants! Wash your hands without feeling a tad guilty! The possibilities are endless and so, so exciting.

12. Sadness.

The rain stopped. The clouds are clearing. The forecast is dashing away all hopes you had of taking a long, relaxing shower. You wave good-bye to those wonderful clouds that brought you such happiness. The only water that will be falling anytime soon will be your tears. (Yes, you’re being a little melodramatic, but you’re in a very fragile state right now! You can’t help it!)

13. Bargaining.

Come back! Please. Rain, rain I’m so sorry I used to tell you to go away and come again another day. I didn’t know what I was asking for! I’ll do anything! ANYTHING.