Feelings I Had When I Picked Up A Girl

Wonder if I want her or if I just want to be her. She was really tiny and had amazing boobs (do I have to call them breasts to sound respectful?). Like, honestly, 98th percentile. But maybe I am just envious and/ or appreciate that as some kind of ‘art form,’ I don’t really know.

Wonder if this makes me ‘bisexual.’ This is not the first girl I’ve hooked up with but it seems like I don’t really have any interest in them before, during, and after–I just feel sort of curious/restless/[….] and boom, it happens. Seems like it makes the most sense to continue to identify as straight but wonder if I can, cuz like 15% of my total sexual partners have been female.

Wonder why she left her chewed gum on my coffee table.Gross.

Wonder if I should seriously consider dating a girl. She was full of compliments and the hook up was about me. I can’t think of one man I have dated who I could say both things about.

Wonder why I find (some) girls extremely sexually attractive but feel sort of repulsed by the idea of hooking up with one. Feel bad cuz it makes me feel implicitly homophobic or like I think lesbians are gross, which I don’t. Feel like this probably just correlates with point one, that I appreciate their beauty and sensuousness but I’m not really sexually attracted to them.

Wonder if she actually is a lesbian. Seems like I remember her saying something about being straight or having a recent ex-boyfriend or something. Wonder if this was just disgruntled straight girl on disgruntled straight girl.

Wonder how in the hell to do stuff to a girl. Seems like worrying about sexually satisfying/ impressing a guy is hard enough and I’ve been at it for almost a decade. Don’t really need the added stress.