Jim Goad

The manhunt began the moment one of the observers notified police to say, “I have just seen a boy murdered on the Internet.”

It was a summer morning like any other—except for the fact that when he looked in the bathroom mirror while splashing cold water on his face, Gregg Sandstone did not expect to see an adult human vagina occupying the center of his forehead.

They were like zombies, but instead of eating her flesh, they’d walk up and say something dumb to her.

They loved their son, even though they would probably never get to kiss him.

“Your mother’s biggest regret is you.”

Patton Oswalt and Thought Catalog’s Jim Goad agree on nothing. Watch Patton throw down hard for Hillary while discussing the upcoming election, globalization, social media, and more.

Learn how to talk like an ex-con without ever having to go to prison!

“And now I was getting the feeling that I was actually achieving this perfect inner connection through his flesh. The flesh tastes like pork but stronger.”

When I was very young—around three—I’d kneel in front of my bed every night and beg God to stop giving me “the bad dreams.” He didn’t listen….

If you came from a happy family, I don’t think we’re going to get along very well. We might as well be speaking different languages. Or wearing different gang colors. Or living on different planets.

The best fighters and lovers are always the most passionate ones.

April 1, 2004: Oprah Winfrey becomes the fourth member of the Holy Trinity.