Jim Goad

Learn how to talk like an ex-con without ever having to go to prison!

“And now I was getting the feeling that I was actually achieving this perfect inner connection through his flesh. The flesh tastes like pork but stronger.”

When I was very young—around three—I’d kneel in front of my bed every night and beg God to stop giving me “the bad dreams.” He didn’t listen….

If you came from a happy family, I don’t think we’re going to get along very well. We might as well be speaking different languages. Or wearing different gang colors. Or living on different planets.

The best fighters and lovers are always the most passionate ones.

April 1, 2004: Oprah Winfrey becomes the fourth member of the Holy Trinity.

The scariest thing about having a seizure is that you never remember it.

“It was supposed to be this beautiful cruise and it turned into a nightmare,” a newlywed passenger texted to her father. “Nothing like this was advertised in the brochure.”

WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU’RE EASILY UPSET.

At least 49 people have died since 2014 in selfie-related accidents. Here are 15 cases that prove vanity can be fatal.

A litany of death, injuries, and personal humiliation blamed on Viaggravating circumstances.

OWNER OF SEGWAY COMPANY DRIVES SEGWAY OFF A CLIFF

Actor Abe Vigoda, star of TV’s Barney Miller sitcom and the first two Godfather movies, has finally died.

The following 17 cases involve women who killed their lovers in order to inherit their wealth.

High-school football is one of the deadliest sports in America.

Sixty-six people died as a fire swallowed the club whole. They’d assembled to watch a band called Burn.

“Yo Ice, I did a concert in the White House/And after that me and Donald Trump hung out.” —Ice-T

Before shooting his mother, he allegedly told her, “I love you, Mom.”