Jim Goad

If you take any of the following sort of selfies and post them publicly, you run the risk of people either silently thinking you’re a douche or openly declaring in front of the entire World Digital Court that you are a douche.

When the steel pipe was passed to me, I took it, knowing that I was sinning.

Sure, they may only be nude today. But tomorrow they may wake up and try to take over the world again.

Thirty-nine-year-old Megan Huntsman of Pleasant Grove, Utah, has allegedly confessed to fatally strangling and suffocating six of her newborn babies from 1996 to 2006.

There’s a deeper bigotry that isn’t being addressed here—the rampant societal discrimination against people who let their pants sag.

Scientists are now able to grow vaginas in their laboratories and implant them in willing female patients.

Much of the public has unquestioningly embraced the mantra “Diversity is Strength.”

Has “I’m mentally ill” become a modern secular version of “The Devil made me do it”?

I went to the Post Office to pick up my mail today, and every goddamned envelope was white.

I know many people who have only been to two states—the one they were born in, and a lingering state of denial.

There were days where I’d take home only $5. There were days I’d actually lose money.

Words hurt. Actions hurt. Sometimes inaction hurts. Sometimes people don’t have to do anything, and it still hurts.