Jim Goad

I’m finding it hard to muster any sympathy for this asthmatic leatherneck. Instead, there is only contempt.

I’ve run across at least a dozen, and probably more, women who’ve told me they fantasize about being raped.

By its very nature as a rigorous athletic sport, basketball discriminates in favor of the young.

If I had to describe legendary comedian Doug Stanhope in one word, that word would be “tolerant,” mainly because he tolerates me.

You shouldn’t have your throat covered in the word “MURDER” if you seek to embark upon a lifestyle that actually involves murdering people.

Even though your grandparents have been very vocal supporters of abortion, it looks like they’re not going to abort you.

The arc of moral justice is long, and if you don’t bend over, you may get fucked.

This is a handy and very effective five-point plan for converting sexist men to male feminism through a delicate balance of common sense and shaming.

Across the dark, exotic caves of Brazil, these Lady Lice and their elaborate penis-like structures are simultaneously smashing the patriarchy and crushing its ass.

Shouldn’t a national leader’s sexual desirability be an issue, especially if it’s a chick?

Before you make the possibly life-altering decision to go and have a meal at Waffle House, I believe it is my duty as a reporter to inform you of what could happen.

Personally, I feel that my feelings should be more important to me than your feelings, no matter how you feel about it.

If you take any of the following sort of selfies and post them publicly, you run the risk of people either silently thinking you’re a douche or openly declaring in front of the entire World Digital Court that you are a douche.

When the steel pipe was passed to me, I took it, knowing that I was sinning.

Sure, they may only be nude today. But tomorrow they may wake up and try to take over the world again.

Thirty-nine-year-old Megan Huntsman of Pleasant Grove, Utah, has allegedly confessed to fatally strangling and suffocating six of her newborn babies from 1996 to 2006.

There’s a deeper bigotry that isn’t being addressed here—the rampant societal discrimination against people who let their pants sag.

Scientists are now able to grow vaginas in their laboratories and implant them in willing female patients.