22 Weird And Disturbing Facts About Sex Dolls

16. Better a Dutch wife than a Dutch oven.

A very early version of the modern sex doll was a glorified penile hand puppet made of hand-sewn leather by European sailors of the 17th century. The French referred to these disgusting little hot pockets as dames de voyage (travel ladies). Dutch sailors traded so much with the Japanese back then, the Japanese began referring to these little masturbatory aids as “Dutch wives.” Even in modern times, many Japanese people still refer to high-tech silicone love dolls as “Dutch wives.”

17. Sex dolls are not only good for sex and companionship—they can also get you into the carpool lane.

As if it wasn’t bad enough to shtup them and fall in love with them, many socially irresponsible scofflaws have been known to strap down sex dolls in the passenger’s seat of their vehicles in order to unfairly cheat society by zooming into the carpool lane under the pretense that the sex doll is a second passenger.

18. If you don’t want to fuck it anymore, you can wear it as a raincoat.

Dutch artist Sander Reijgers has spent an almost unhealthy amount of time transforming 50 blowup dolls that a “sponsor” gave him into rain gear with waterproof hoodies. According to Reijgers:

These dolls are so ugly and vulgar that turning them into something beautiful has become a challenge for me. The doll is a means to convey something else…it’s near-incomprehensible that people could have sex with something as ugly and lifeless as a blow-up doll….I remove the sexual function of the dolls by turning them into a jacket or a bag.

19. It’s illegal to fondle blowup dolls in public, so don’t do it.

Fifty-one-year-old George Bartusek of Cape Coral, FL found this out the “hard” way, pun intended—in 2009, he was arrested in the parking lot of a Publix supermarket after he was spotted kissing and “very inappropriately” touching a pair of blowup dolls.

20. The more realistic these sex dolls get, the creepier they will be.

In 1970, Japanese robotics engineer Masahiro Mori coined the term “uncanny valley” to describe the observed phenomenon that the more lifelike robots appear, the more disturbing people find them to be. People can usually accept robots if they still look clearly like robots; but if they look almost completely human—but not quite—we are disgusted by them. Thus, the more that sex dolls begin to resemble living human women, the harder the “iDollators” may find it to become…hard.

21. Here are the proud cities and countries where people love sex dolls the most.

A 2008 study based on Internet searches for sex dolls revealed that the Philippines comes out on top, with Australia and the USA nipping at its heels. The Aussie cities of Sydney and Melbourne love sex dolls the most, followed by LA and Chicago.

22. What’s that you say—you’d like to see some of these sex dolls for yourself? I’m glad you asked!

If you’re of legal age and your flesh is willing, feast your weary, horny eyes upon Real Dolls, Boy Toy Dolls, Anatomical Doll, Dolloza, AIDoll, DSDoll, and 4WoodsUSA. But be warned—you will never be able to un-see what you’re about to see.