The Sexy Bath Recipe That Gets Me In The Mood To Write Erotica

People always ask me, “Jillian, how does a sexy girl like you get in the mood to write these little hot stories you tell?” And I hem and haw over it and usually answer them one of two ways: “Well, getting boned usually helps.” But most of the time, when I’m trying to get in the right mindset to blow your minds with my sexual adventures, I get in the bath.

Hello! A bath is like the sexiest thing ever. It’s all hot and steamy and you’re naked for an extended period of time. You can add whatever bubbles, potions and oils you like. A bath is there to please you. That’s all it wants. It wants to relax you, stimulate your imagination, envelop you in its warmth … it’s basically like a dream lover. And you don’t need to call it back or answer its 1000 texts pleading for one more photo of your tits.

So get sexy with me and wind down – or get turned on – in your own version of the Jillian Paulson™ Sexy Bath. You can roll solo or bring a friend. It’s up to you!

Prep.

If you wanna go all Catholic school on me and shower yourself off before you bathe, by all means. If you are more eco-friendly, like me, start the water. Disrobe. Pour a glass of whiskey, wine or LaCroix – whatever you like. If you wanna get real fancy, bring the wine in with you so you don’t have to tiptoe naked and dripping out to grab more.

Pick your potions.

Once the water is at desired temperature, start fixin’ it up. I always, always add a trickle of oil to my bath to make my skin super-soft. I like Vitamin E oil and monoi oil, but you can use whatever smells good to you. Think of your sexy bath as a cocktail. It’s always best to add a little of this and a little of that. My tried-and-true combo is Vitamin E oil and a mountain of fancy bubbles, courtesy this foamy, delicious smelling “champagne bath” from Italy. However, Dr. Teal’s makes giant tubs of yummy bubbles too, especially if lavender is your thing, and they’re really cheap.

Fancy places like Jo Malone make absolutely divine bath oils. Put them on your Christmas list. I like Pomegranate Noir, a rich, dark fruity scent, for sexin’ up.

Another great place to jack up your bath is at LUSH, of course. There are bath bombs and bubble bars specifically for this purpose, like the perfectly pink Sex Bomb. If you’re smart, you’ll grab a bottle of their divine jasmine Flying Fox shower gel before it disappears forever; it smells like pure aphrodisiac. I’ve used it on myself in a shower with a dude and he was busting on my back before I knew it.

Set the mood.

You wanna light some candles? By all means. I think white floral scents are sexiest, like tuberose and gardenia, but others prefer something a bit deeper and sweeter, like an amber-vanilla. Pro tip: Voluspa makes incredibly sexy candles and the mini sizes are about $8 at Anthropolgie. It can’t hurt to have a few on hand. Maybe don’t place the lit candles by your hair, though. You want a joint? Go for it. Can’t hurt!

Bring a friend.

By friend I mean a waterproof vibrator, of course. Unless you’re lucky enough to have a giant Jacuzzi, a bath for two people can get cramped and uncomfortable. So get off with a little motor action, or try your hand.

Drift away.

I hope to god you used your phone to snap a sexy bubbly nude for your flavor of the week and then slid it away from your reach, because the purpose of this bath is to relax and let your imagination carry you far, far away, just like Calgon. This is not a time for Snapchat! Fantasize. Dream up new sexy scenarios. Think of a past hot ‘n’ sexy moment. Get down and dirty. Make it a habit!