Jessica Winters

“Being rich is not a crime, but being poor is.”

“I fear my orgasm has left me a cripple.”

“You can be the king, but watch the queen conquer.” —Nicki Minaj

“After an hour, it really isn’t doing anything for me and I find myself just looking at the clock.”

Kari Ferrell gained brief fame in 2009 when the press christened her the “Hipster Grifter” for her tendency to befriend young skinny bearded males in Williamsburg and take them for every penny they had.

“Some men can’t be bothered to take a single shower and just spray deodorant all over themselves, thinking that it’ll cover the smell, when it actually doesn’t. Take a damn shower.”

“His breath was so rank—I’m talking demons dancing on his tongue rank.”

“My rule of thumb is you should be able to remember every person.”

You share secrets with him…and only him.

“I’m blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!”

“He was wearing an adult diaper and liked to be spanked.”

A dozen of the most elaborate, enduring, and heartwarming expressions of true love in world history.