Jessica Winters

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“We hurt, too. We want to be told nice things, too.”

TAURUS: A little pagan fairy with wings, you feel most at home in nature. You yearn to get away from the noise and dirt of the city and find yourself lost in a lush forest or a secluded beach. Beauty and creativity and magic are what possess your soul.

“Don’t drink your calories. Want a glass of orange juice? Choose water. Want a pop? Choose water.”

“It ain’t no use putting up your umbrella till it rains!” —Alice Caldwell Rice

It’s hard to look, but it’s also hard to look away.

“Stop trying so hard. Spend some time focusing on yourself and don’t shy away from developing friendships. The saying ‘it comes when you least expect it’ was very true in my experience.”

“When she backhanded me in the mouth until I lost consciousness.”

“When she spent two hours helping me find my keys in a dumpster.”

“Everything hurts and I’m dying.”

In general, introverts are not afraid of interacting with others; they simply prefer to spend time alone.

“There are a lot of things I want to do in my life, and they don’t require a partner.”

“A word used by feminists to silence men and prevent them from learning that men actually have problems too and that their point of view isn’t the only one.”

“Badmouthing the other parent. I understand you might lose your sh*t during a divorce, but keep your kids out of it.”

When a woman doesn’t respond to his advances, he goes from calling her “immaculate” to a “delusional bitch.”

“Don’t marry a woman because you think you can spend the rest of your life with her…marry a woman because you think you can’t spend the rest of your life without her.”

After receiving an unsolicited dick pic, a woman hilariously turns the tables by convincing him that he needs to see a doctor.

It is not yet against the law to get a dumb tattoo, but maybe it should be.