1. THEY STINK

“Hygiene is a huge one for me. Some men can’t be bothered to take a single shower and just spray deodorant all over themselves, thinking that it’ll cover the smell, when it actually doesn’t. Take a damn shower. Brush your teeth. Wash your hands after going to the toilet (you’ll be surprised by how many people don’t do that!). Is it manly to have bad hygiene or something? If I can easily keep hygienic why can’t you? Surely it can’t be that hard!”

2. THEY’RE SLOPPY

“Dress up a little, when the occasion calls for it! So many times I have seen couples out on dates where the lady has obviously gone to some trouble to look nice, and Buddy looks like he just got off shift as a beachcomber.”

3. THEY HAVE BAD BREATH

“Bad breath. I know it sounds cliche, but most of the guys I’ve dated in the past had horrible breath. How do you not know that your mouth smells like a sewer?? I’ve had to roll down the windows in my car in the dead of winter because my guy’s rancid breath was polluting my car. I finally spoke up with one guy and gave him a package of mints. He popped one in his mouth and immediately chewed it up and swallowed it. I shouldn’t have to explain to a 35 year old man that you have to suck on it for a minute to work. Moral of the story: guys and girls, be conscious about bad breath and keep some mints close by.”

4. THEY SPIT TOO MUCH

“Spitting. I’m not sure if there’s a gender specific reason for this, higher producing salivary glands, but is really unbecoming and quite savage looking.”

5. THEY’RE DIRTY

“Poor hygiene is often overlooked as ruggedness, but I think it holds a lot of men back from having more dates. Men don’t have to be super done up or even clean shaven to be attractive to women, but it isn’t a threat to a person’s masculinity if he wants to look and dress well, get a facial once in a while to keep clear skin, trim his ridiculously bushy eyebrows, etc., etc. Trimming your eyebrows for instance—guy friends have scoffed at the idea when I’ve brought it up (‘I’m not gay!’), but then are seriously surprised at the subtle yet noticeable difference in their face by tending to just a few stray hairs. Girls are complicated. The sexy stuff is in the details for a lot of us!”

6. THEY’RE SUPERFICIAL

“Some men only compliment on the physical things. I would prefer somebody tell me how funny or smart I am or recognize my accomplishments!”

7. THEY’RE PUSHY ABOUT SEX

“It’s been mentioned before, but thinking it’s okay to wear me down to get what you want. I’ve been badgered into cyber sex. A guy I had really cared for got drunk and begged me to kiss him, threatening suicide if I didn’t. Spoiler alert: if they buy the wearing-down-is-okay myth, there’s a good chance they’ll ignore your body language and eventual frozen terror for a chance to do whatever they want. Fellows, ‘no’ is the end of the conversation. She’s not your mom, and you aren’t asking for Lucky Charms. Not that I should have to explain myself, but the cybering boiled down to him messaging really explicit shit and fapping over his mic. I (very uncomfortably) browsed Pinterest. He thought I was participating. Said I was breathing heavy. Yeah, because I have severe anxiety and felt trapped in the situation. Fuck all of you who are blaming me for it. Emotional blackmail is powerful shit, and you’re all very fortunate that you don’t know what it’s like.”

8. THEY’RE PUSHY IN GENERAL

“Being pushy in general. If I say no, (to sex, drugs, letting you read my personal papers, letting you smoke in my house, coming somewhere with you, whatever) then accept that no means no. It doesn’t mean nag me about it for 20 minutes and then get angry when I still say no. I’ve found this a problem in romantic relationships rather than friendships. Like now you’re they’re girlfriend they think they’ve got some kind of claim over you to push you into doing things they wouldn’t push a mere friend into. Also unwanted flirting or touching, especially if it’s somewhere you can’t escape from, like work.”

9. THEY DON’T INTRODUCE YOU AS THEIR GIRLFRIEND

“Not introducing me as your girlfriend to one of your friends is really insulting…especially if they are female.”

10. THEY’RE CONDESCENDING

“I know this isn’t something all men do, but it is something I’ve noticed a lot: dismissing a woman’s input with a condescending comment. Woman: says something relevant to man’s interest but is slightly off on a point. Man: Well, no. But you’re cute, though. It drives me UP THE WALL. I am training for a technology repair position and the amount of times I have had to hear something similar to that when I answer a question is astounding.”

11. THEY TRIVIALIZE OUR EMOTIONS

“Trivializing emotions. My anger isn’t ‘cute’ and should be taken just as seriously as yours. Same with blaming things on PMS and periods. Sure, there may be irrationality, but that doesn’t mean that the actual thing we are angry/upset about isn’t valid or related to some other valid thing.”

12. THEY INSULT WOMEN

“If you compliment me by putting other women down, it tells me that you have an inherent negative view of women. ‘You’re smart for a girl!’ reads as ‘I think women are stupid but you are somehow an exception.’ Besides, there are many women who mean a lot to me—mom, friends, grandmother, aunts and so on. Don’t insult women. Women are awesome.”

13. THEY JOKE ABOUT WOMEN’S APPEARANCE

“In my opinion it’s the way men tend to joke about women’s appearance. I have a boss who is a bit of a pig, we are hiring a new girl to our floor and the jokes that goes around right now is of the kind. ‘Oh we have to hire someone sexy, so there’s something good to look at here at the office.’ And he notice that I don’t like it and continues to do it. And in his opinion he’s just making me not care by continuing to do it. It’s not all men. But it’s a fairly common thing, to joke about women’s looks and what not, and it’s really not funny.”

14. THEY’RE DEFENSIVE

“Getting defensive when women honestly answer a question about bad qualities some men have.”

15. THEY SUFFER FROM MADONNA-WHORE COMPLEX

“Believing that it’s impossible for a woman to be a sexual being and a good person, yet totally possible for a man to be both of those things. The chaste ‘good’ girl you think of as long-term relationship material most likely (unless she’s asexual or something) wants to have
and enjoy sex. Also, she’s human, so just because she’s a virgin or has a low partner count or doesn’t sleep around or is introverted does not necessarily mean she’s free of dysfunctions, hang-ups, baggage, and/or flaws. By the same token, the ‘wild’ girl you may think of as hook-up material (but not LTR material) is, barring some major dysfunction that is not in any way related to her sexuality, very likely capable of being faithful, kind, and knows when to control herself. Get to know her as a person, then decide whether to commit or not, instead of writing her off or making assumptions about her (that may be partially or entirely wrong).”

16. THEY CALL WOMEN ‘EMOTIONAL’

“Saying that women are ‘emotional’ without realizing that people are emotional. You know what’s an emotion? Anger. Jealousy. Embarrassment. Pride. Annoyance. Happiness. But man, especially anger. I know quite a few angry, angry men who are the first to point out how illogical silly emotional females always are. Pitiful, hypocritical denial.”

17. THEY TRY TO MAKE WOMEN JEALOUS

“Trying to make a woman jealous, my guy did that in the beginning always telling me how many women hated me because he chose me, his point because he has so many groupies and exes that are so obsessed. I’m not a jealous person, told him straight out all it does is turn me off and makes him seem insecure by bringing it up.”

18. THEY SLUT-SHAME

“Using the terms slut or whore. If you want women to feel comfortable showing skin and having sex, then its best not to shame them for it.”

19. THEY ACT LIKE THEY’RE TOO COOL TO CARE

“Stop acting like you’re too cool to care about anything, because all that does is make people think you don’t care about anything, including them. You’ll end up with a bunch of artificial acquaintances, no true friends, and you’ll never, ever have a healthy relationship with a significant other. Why should someone else care about you if you don’t care about anything?”

20. THEY TRY TO ‘FIX’ EVERYTHING

“I know it’s been said before, but when a girl vents to you, it does not mean that she wants you to fix it. She just wants someone to process with, trust me she probably already knows the solution.”

21. THEY’RE MISOGYNISTIC

“Soooo much misogyny. It’s often hard to see for other men, but women can spot it right away. If all of a guy’s exes are crazy, that’s a red flag. If he sees nothing wrong with screaming around a woman, that’s a red flag. If he uses gendered slurs, that’s a red flag. If he wants certain sexual favors but doesn’t want to return them, that’s a red flag. Ad nauseam. A lot of men don’t really think about the ways in which their behavior is threatening, or the ways in which they’ve been socialized to not accept a woman’s no. Like, a pretty common media trope is wearing down a romantic interest until she dates you. Which a lot of men see as romantic (and a few women as well), but is actually really creepy. It’s sort of like the Nice Guy^™ dilemma, where they think that they’re nice, but a lot of their actions are very creepy. This applies to most men. Not all. I mean, Superman would never treat a woman that way. Batman might. The jury is still out.”