There Will Be Blood: 11 Men And Women Share Their Hilarious But Horrifying Period Sex Stories
1. When we were done, it looked like we had murdered a small animal
“I was arguing with my fuck buddy because of the horrible day-two mood swings. Finally he told me to meet him at an old firehouse to ‘talk.’ I pulled up, got in the car, and before I knew it, I was in the backseat sucking face like my life depended on it. Then I remembered it was day two and car sex was not an option. He was completely unfazed by the thought of a mess and proceeded to turn me on like crazy. Finally I relaxed and the panties came off. Before I could even protest, he pulled out my tampon and threw it out the window! We then proceed to have the dirtiest makeup sex of my life. When we were done, it looked like we had murdered a small animal. We cleaned up as best we could and managed to not stain the seats. Although this was slightly disturbing, it was totally sexy how nothing was going to stop him from giving me the big O.”
—Alyssa
2. I thought I was going to jail, she spewed so much blood
“I ate out a girl back in my 20’s when I was pissed drunk. Woke up with blood clot stuff in my beard! That was awesome! I almost puked! Lived thru it, though. Then I banged a chick a couple years ago that I had a fuck fling with and she didn’t tell me she was freaking bleeding and guess what…I thought I was going to jail, she spewed so much blood.”
—Johnny
3. I liked the way the blood traced every place we touched one another
“The sex is wetter than wet; my insides are all over him. I’m matted in his pubic hair; I’m spread slick and crimson all over his stomach. I can see the almost-black edges of my blood in his cuticles. There are pink handprints on my back and splotches on my neck. I liked the way the blood traced every place we touched one another, getting almost everywhere. I loved seeing his just-washed sheets still stained by me, and the streaks I’d sometimes get on my toes. I liked that we curled up and slept on the small faded brown pools, a nest all our own, a testament to bodies doing what they do. And I think for me, this was at the crux of my joy. It wasn’t a kinky thing—it was just a, ‘this is what your body is doing right now’ thing. He’d kiss down my stomach and slowly part my legs. I’d feel him pause. I’d glance down and watch him with infinite affection as he carefully moved the tiny white thread two inches to the side before licking me. And then I’d say, ‘I want you’ and then…he’d just pull out my tampon.”
—Katie
4. when I pulled out, it looked like I was bringing half of her liver with me
“Let me just say before I get into the pros and cons of this, I am one squeamish bastard. Seeing my own blood makes me want to puke. But as well as being squeamish, I’m the horniest guy you’ll ever meet….My solution was simple and brilliant: a red, strawberry-flavored condom….I like strawberries. Anyway, I belted my trooper up in a bright red condom…and went at the job at hand. I was at first pleasantly surprised by the added lubrication, even if the smell was making my stomach churn, and I suddenly empathized with every tampon—I mean at least I’m getting something out of this….Then came the bit I had been dreading: removing my blood-soaked member. I pulled him out and he looked like a battered ‘Nam vet. You see, in my eagerness to have sex, we did it in the early stages, so my cock was like a plunger and when I pulled out, it looked like I was bringing half of her liver with me….Seriously, forget blood drives, she could stock a hospital by connecting a funnel to her vagina once a month. After running to the bathroom with a flaccid penis dripping blood all over the floor, I threw the condom in the toilet and decided to let Ben and Jerry’s be the only thing going inside any girlfriend I have when she’s on her period.”
—Robby
5. THE FLOOD OF A THOUSAND PERIODS is unleashed
“I’d been putting off my period by skipping the period week in my birth control for like four months at this point, because I knew he was moving but was so enamored by his giant dick that I couldn’t bear missing out before he left. But of course the week before he went, THE FLOOD OF A THOUSAND PERIODS is unleashed. It just broke through, like a scene from The Ten Commandments….He said ‘the musk’ turned him on. He made me stay at his place for, like, the next three days to capitalize on all the period sex. Like a newly caged feral animal. He ate me out A LOT. No tampon. I was like, ‘Why can’t I just keep a small tampon in?’ And he goes, get this, ‘The string grosses me out.’…The worst was when he’d text, ‘We haven’t had strawberries-and-cream sex in a while.’ DON’T RUIN DESSERT, DAVID….He said it was sweet, like actually sugary-sweet. He also said every girl tasted different. Oh God, he’s done period-sex taste tests. Oh God. Oh God.”
—Maya
6. Blood everywhere: sheets, his face—it was mortifying
“I was going through a bad breakup, and I just wanted to have a random hookup. My friend introduced me to this guy, I went over to his house, and things started getting hot and heavy, [and] he decided to go down on me. While he was down there, I started my period. Blood everywhere: sheets, his face—it was mortifying. This was the first time we ever hung out, and I had to buy him new sheets. But he was a trouper about it; he just went and brushed his teeth. He became a great friend with benefits. Nothing could have been more awkward than that.”
—Kayla
7. THE LOVE BLOOD BOAT
“I hooked up with this guy I met through friends one night at the bar. I went home with him and we went to his backyard where there was a huge boat. It was really dark, but we had sex on the boat. The next morning, back at home, I woke with a hangover and realized that I had gotten my period. I just assumed it happened at home, but I soon learned that wasn’t the case. Turns out the boat I was on belonged to the guy’s father and they had a planned fishing trip the next day. When his father went out to get the boat ready, he found blood all over. Needless to say he panicked and went to wake everyone up and check on them. The guy figured it out when his father woke him and he saw himself and his clothes (which he had slept in). I was mortified when he called me. I was too drunk to realize, and he thought I was just really wet. I assumed he would never speak to me again. I didn’t exactly want to see him again. But despite having to explain to his father and having to clean the boat, he still called me. We hooked up up a few more times—in a bed, not on a boat.”
—Lisa
8. I noticed it was feeling a little ‘gritty’ in there
“One thing leads to another and next thing you know she’s topside on this dick, strait Bang Brothers cowgirl uncut and full access. OK, so she’s riding me hard and it’s going down totally like it should. I noticed it was feeling a little ‘gritty’ in there. If you’ve fucked a girl on her period you will understand. I stop in mid fuck at this moment, I’m like 2 blunts deep at this time and one to many blue moons. I seize up and yoink my wiener out.. As my dick is pulled out, it’s like a fucking cork is uncorked. A strait like faucet flow of period blood just pours right out. Like a raindrop from the clouds. I looked at my dick in a dead and blunted stupor, unable to comprehend it. Then I just wiped my dick off with a baby wipe from the side of her bed. I put a grin on my face and just kept trucking, I think I heard a Hendrix album start up in the background somewhere.”
—Phil
9. think of the prom scene in Carrie
“I was at a wedding and I was REALLLLY fucking drunk. Like, blackout drunk. There was a guy there who was very cute and I had decided at the beginning of the night I was going to hook up with him. We went back to his bedroom. It didn’t start very well because when we were both naked he said “Jesus Christ, what the fuck is wrong with your tits?” I only then remembered that I was wearing flesh-colored nipple covers and it looked like I didn’t actually have any. Nipples, that is. Listen, I was wearing a backless dress and it was a cold day. ANYWAY, we finally got down to business and midway through, my period started. The only way I can describe it is to think of the prom scene in Carrie. It was like a murder scene. It was at this stage he told me he had a girlfriend. Yeah. LIKELY STORY.”
—Louise
10. I have rode his face and left stains on his chin
“I don’t get why people become so disgusted by periods. You bleed from any body part, no big deal. You bleed from the vagina it’s gross. I have never understood it. I am always at my most horniest whilst on my period and I generally have quite heavy periods. There is no better feeling than my boyfriend ramming it home or gently spending hours licking my swollen clit, easing my aches & pains. I used to feel sorry for him going down on me during a period, I felt guilty but then I realized it doesn’t make any difference to him and now I literally demand it every day whilst during a period. I have rode his face and left stains on his chin and it doesn’t bother him. I don’t even mind kissing him afterwards. My boyfriend bikes to my place & arrives all sweaty sometimes without bathing first & to me if I can suck his dick 3-4 times, swallowing each time, then I ain’t wasting our precious time together washing or worrying about a little red.”
—Dani
11. A FURY OF BLOOD & SENSITIVITY
“A few nights ago, I had sex while on my period. And not when I was on the tail end of my cycle, but when it had just started in a fury of blood & sensitivity. It’s kind of a big deal. What’s even more monumental is that I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it. It was so, so good, & I kind of want to have sex on my period all the time now. The period sex that happened the other night wasn’t just an anomaly; by my personal track record, it really shouldn’t have happened at all. I had a ‘period headache,’ I was bloated & crampy, & my body was exhausted after trying to push through an active weekend in the face of these conditions. And yet…I gave in to my desire & allowed myself to be seduced by my lover….I have a theory about period sex—that because my body is already in a natural state of release, all of me, every cell in my body, is relaxed, fluid, ready to surrender. During sex, I was unclenched & open; I allowed all of him to enter me, & enjoyed feeling the totality of him inside me. I felt everything more intensely. It was joyful, delicious, intoxicating. And as for the ‘mess’…it didn’t even cross my mind until afterward, when we had finished & I was sweaty & he was smiley, & he pulled himself out from inside of me & I saw what we had done. In that moment, I swooned. His crimsoned dick, his belly spotted with my blood, might be (surprisingly) my favorite part of period sex.”
—Name Withheld