When I Inevitably See You Again

Sometimes we think we’ll never see someone again and we’re right.

Sometimes we think we’ll never see someone again and we’re wrong.

I’ve learned that time doesn’t always heal all wounds. Maybe that mantra is wishful thinking. Our way of coping with loss. We take comfort in a series of words strung together to make sense of our lives, living by the quotes of dead authors.

We can go days, weeks, months, sometimes we can go even years without seeing someone and naturally, we become accustomed to their absence. The urge to call or text them every day begins to fade into the wayside. The emptiness in our chest without their presence becomes less and less. It gets to the point that we can actually go months without saying their name.

All of these little things add up over time and we finally feel that this person does not hold a place in our heart anymore.

And then you see them and everything you’ve believed up until this point goes out the window. Now they stand before you and you don’t remember how to breathe.

Because there you stood and I forgot how I lived in a world without you in it for so long. All of the times I convinced myself that I didn’t need you, and now I remembered your favorite color.

Memories that I thought were tucked away deep in my thoughts came tumbling out, and I feel like I’ve taken a thousand steps back.

Have I made any progress moving on from this person?

The time spent apart was far greater than the time spent together, yet, there you are and I don’t understand how this couldn’t have worked. All of the walls I built, all of the justifications I made…were gone in a matter of seconds. The only thing I was sure of at that point was that time did not steal the love I had for you.

It’s defeating, really, to realize you’ve been traveling so long, yet have stayed in the same place. Stagnant. I had made new memories, met new people, acquired new likes. Yet, at the end of the day, my mind could not outweigh what my heart wanted all along.

But as fast as you came, is as fast as you went, and now I am back on this road, traveling towards a destination that cannot be hopeful you’ll be there.

Perhaps there is too much time and distance between us, years we will never get back…and now I understand that my naïve mind must venture towards a future that is not hopeful for your return.
Maybe seeing you helped me see things for how they are and for what they will be. And if we do cross paths again, maybe it’s fate. Or maybe it’s just really, really coincidental.

I’ll be seeing you.