Jessica Blankenship

For those not up on their gestational timeline, a heartbeat can be present as early as six weeks. That’s sooner than a great number of women even know they are pregnant.

Because new episodes of ‘Girls’ being on isn’t the only thing happening in women-related news.

It seems like everything that could be created or built has already been done. Finding new creative real estate in NYC feels like an insurmountable challenge.

Things that are wrong about her boyfriend: 1) He calls her “Tor,” as if Torrence wasn’t bad enough. Neither of those are real names.

I definitely didn’t watch Lance Armstrong’s interview with Oprah. And today, that act of apathy is paying off IN SPADES, my friends.

Will coming out speeches ever not make me cry?

When I grow up and become better at nurturing budding friendships, I’m going to absolutely, definitely, maybe call you.

From my not-even-remotely exhaustive observation over the past 6 months of my own burgeoning motherhood, I’ve managed to boil down the classification of your post-baby friends to the following 7 categories. Because generalizations are for winners.

Even if I do decide to one day get married, which is a thing that has yet to particularly appeal to me, I certainly don’t want to wait for that kind of ideological tectonic brain shift to occur before I get some bling of my very ownzies.

Since there’s no definite benchmark to look forward to, 26 often just easily walks in one night while you’re out with friends at your usual bar, half celebrating, half just having a normal night. You’re 26. No big deal. Thanks for buying me a drink. No, I’m gonna go home early.

Pummel him with our giant, cancerous, excised cervical tumors that we grew because of lack of adequate preventative care.

Do you see that? I’m still obsessing. I’m still in that part of this thing. I have to move past the hyper-analytical wake of the break-up before I can find the lesson from the hurt, integrate it into my emotional oeuvre, and use it to be a slightly wiser, more well-equipped version of myself for the future.