Jessica Blankenship

I’m the one who didn’t know how to use birth control properly (who am I kidding – there was no birth control).

THAT’S NOT A PHOTO OF YOU. THAT’S MICHAEL VARTAN. Wait, are you Michael Vartan?

Amy recently appeared on the “Comedy Bang! Bang!” podcast, and those jerks made her rap about butter. Clearly Amy killed it because, duh.

Me and every other girl born within 5 years of me are collectively exploding into a deafening symphony of “SQUEEEEE!” this week about the release of this dreamy video of the Lisa Frank headquarters featuring an interview with Lisa Frank herself.

Other than being associated with a VMAs performance that gave me unprecedentedly fulfilling sex dreams about Beetlejuice (do me dirty, Robin Keaton Beetlerapist), this video is hands down the most I’ve ever enjoyed Miley Cyrus.

It’s essentially is a guy saying, “Um, pardon me, ma’am, but I believe you’ve forgotten that your presence on earth, and on this sidewalk, is entirely for the purpose of my enjoyment, and that of my fellow menfolk.”

Broad declaration: there is no feeling more fantastic than those first few days at the end of summer when you walk outside in the morning to unexpectedly crisp air and blue skies and your brain instantly wakes up from its hazy, humidity-drunk slumber and is all, “LIFE!” It’s like an orgasm for your soul.

Talk about twerking; attempt to twerk. Or even mention You-Know-Whore’s name.

All you hyper-intellectual TED-talkers with your high-brow, book-learned feminastics can take a goddamn seat, because we have a new official troubadour of sexual liberation, and her talk could not be any realer.

“The idea of Kanye and vanity are like, synonymous.”

Anyone with even a vague connection to reality knows that present-day echoes of the Jim Crow South are vibrantly alive, and have even extended their impact to other minority groups.

Last spring, UNC-Chapel Hill student Landen Gambill filed a charge against her ex-boyfriend via the school’s internal systems alleging that he raped her.