Jessica Blankenship

You can change your clothes, but you gotta love your bones, baby.

The Plan-B emergency contraceptive, aka the morning-after pill, doesn’t work for women over 176 pounds, and barely works for women over 165.

None of us wants to move on into the rest of our hollow, post-Breaking Bad lives, but we realize we must, and it will be really sad if the stars of our beloved show are the last to let go.

If all social media activity is essentially an act of self-promoting a carefully curated persona, why do we vilify selfies above other kinds of posts?

The overwhelming, far-reaching influence of sexism and discrimination has done more than blatantly oppress women – it’s been operating on basic psychological levels to make us destroy ourselves, starting with severing our connections to each other.

Which social media platforms are appropriate for party pics, foodstagrams, selfies, inspirational quotes, passive-aggressive jabs at your ex, and much more.

Sure, my rent is late, the zipper on my favorite boots is broken, there’s Fukushima and Kardashians and paralyzing socio-economic divisions in the world, and I’ll probably never be loved in a way that feels right, but at least I’ve got that eyebrow situation HANDLED.

Cornel Hrisca-Munn WHO HAS NO FOREARMS has learned how to drum his ass off. All of our excuses are henceforth complete bullshit.

If a 3-minute dance-off-the-sleepies interlude doesn’t get your mind right, then just sit back down and ponder whether or not you’re dead inside until happy hour gets here.

Here’s the thing: the first few minutes, and days, and even weeks or months after giving birth, not everyone is immediately bitch-slapped with love for their kid.

Ruffle skirt = $1,185. Could feed 135 impoverished people in developing countries for a week.

I know I put a post-Labor Day ban on all Blurred Lines related discussion, but there was no way I could’ve known that some sent-from-heaven (and let’s be real, probably headed back there soon) Grandpiece was going to gift the world with such a saucy exclamation point to end the conversation.