That Is Not Food Porn. This Is Food Porn.

I don’t throw around the word “porn” lightly, and I resent the trend towards doing so in the past few years. Like, if watching something doesn’t elicit a tangible, physical response, or pull a distinct, primal craving to the surface of my being, it is not porn.

That said, these videos by French coffee brand Carte Noire bring refreshing legitimacy to the term “food porn”.

This is how I know these videos are, in fact, pornographic: 

• I want to touch these things.
• I want to feel them against my skin.
• I want some of the things in these videos to be inside me. Others aren’t really my particular taste, but I can still see how some people would be into them.
• The videos convey more immaculate detail than you would actually perceive in your hasty, real life experiences.
• What you’re seeing is infinitely more flawless than what you could replicate at home.
• My expectations are unrealistically high now. I will be disappointed with real food now.
• I had an orgasm while watching these videos (I mean, what? Psh. No. That didn’t…happen. Uh.)

Want.