‘Teen Mom’ Music Video Is Absolutely, Definitely Not About Blowjobs

I know your sick, unholy, filth-soaked brains will do nothing but sully this pristine hymn with the sin of your own imagination, but that’s all you. This video, to the pure of soul, is clearly nothing more than an expression of the light, earnest hopes of a young women who is doing her best to make it through this crazy world with a heart full of hope and a mouth full of…inspiration.