Jeremy Helligar

Surprise! Not only was the talent on display at the drag pageant just as impressive as anything you’d see televised on Miss USA or Miss Universe, but it involved so much more than lip-synching to Garland, Streisand, Cher and Madonna. And the turnout was massive.

He falls in love with Robin at first sight, foolishly tells her so on their first date, and then makes the dumbest lovesick moves to get her. He’s neurotic, obsessive, nerdy, and a little more into her than she’s into him. So far, so Ross. But unlike Ross, who was genuinely nice to a fault, Ted can be such a douche bag.

As for Vaughn, Howard and The Dilemma, they’re off the hook with me. It’s obvious from the context of the joke that gay people are not the intended target. If anything, the movie is guilty of delivering a joke that simply isn’t funny, not one that is homophobic or that spreads a message of hate.

Franco was on my Oscar-predictions list all season long, and and won an Independent Spirit Award for Best Supporting Male. I still think he was robbed by the Academy, which didn’t even nominate him.

I read recently in Time magazine that the 2011 Oscar race for Best Picture might be a done deal: The King’s Speech is the one to beat. It’s a period film about how George VI, King-Emperor of the British Empire, overcame a crippling stammer, with the help of his speech therapist Lionel Logue, and led the country through World War II.

But that’s not all that’s bugging me today. What about those phrases that are sturdily constructed, perfectly spelled, but nonetheless make little sense? Here are the worst repeat offenders, some of the strangest things people say in English.

Question of the day: Are you still a couch potato if what you’re doing on that sofa doesn’t involve channel surfing with a remote control, spending hours watching videos on YouTube, or simply napping? What I mean to ask is this: Do couch potatoes read, too?

Despite the now-predictable American influence on pop culture here, when I turn on the TV, I’m still never quite sure what I’ll see, other than that it will be something old and something borrowed.

He’s big. He’s green. He’s scary. He’s hideous like The Thing, only with a better complexion. He lacks the sex appeal of Superman and Batman, and if I saw him coming in my direction, I’d pray for a swift, as-painless-as-possible demise.

I’m not sure what it was about her annoying That ’70s Show character or anything she’d done before this year that impressed director Darren Aronofsky…

These are hard times for lovers. Longtime companions may not be endangered, but they’re in danger. Everywhere people are saying that passion doesn’t last. When you fall in love, it might be forever, but at some point, you’ll probably look at your husband, your wife, your lover, and feel frustrated, annoyed, bored, or simply not be turned on.

Nowadays, thanks to spoilers, we’d all know the identity of the culprit before she even pulled the trigger. We’d have spent months reading endless discussion of the cliffhanger and its resolution on internet chat boards, maybe even throwing our own two cents into the ring.