You Don’t Need A Dan Humphrey, You Need A Chuck Bass

“Tasks are for minions or Dan Humphrey.” — Blair Waldorf

Couldn’t have said it better myself, Queen B. I am going to look past that brief “phase” of Blair and Dan dating. It didn’t happen. Blair temporarily lost her mind. My guess is she wanted to finally get back at Serena for taking Nate’s virginity. That is the only way I can rationalize Blair Waldorf dating Humdrum Humphrey. Sorry not sorry, Stephanie Savage, this was the worst storyline ever. It is just not believable that you can go from a Chuck to a Humdrum Humphrey. I do not buy it.

Whenever I rewatch Gossip Girl, I start at episode seven, not the pilot. I start watching the second Chuck deflowered Blair in the limo. The show does not even start for me until Chuck and Blair are together. Chuck was her epic love. The crazy one. The one you made mistakes for. The love that is unexplainable. The love that takes everything from you and gives you everything at the same time. The one that is effortless and impossible. The love that made the strongest girl vulnerable.

“What we have is a great love. No matter what we do and how much we fight it always pulls us in.” — Blair Waldorf to Chuck Bass

Dan is the easy love, not the epic love. He is your shoulder to cry on. He is the boy from Brooklyn who helps you with your Lit paper. He is the guy you can rely on, but he is not the guy you fall in love with. He is the guy you “had a nice time with,” but he is not the guy that makes you feel. He is convenient, he is comfortable, he is safe. You shouldn’t settle for safe.

Even when Serena described Dan as the “love of her life,” she admitted she took him for granted. She basically used and abused him, then wanted him back every time her life was in shambles and she needed someone to save her. The worst part about Dan is he is the Nice Guy, who is actually not really nice at all. He judges everyone yet he desperately wants to be best friends with them. He is insecure, he wears his Boy Scout Badge on his sleeve, and points his finger at everyone else.

Dan demeans all his peers for their “birthright” privileges. He tries to be the most moral, and ironically he comes off as the most shallow of them all. He claims he fell in love with Serena Van Der Woodsen because she said “Hi” to him once when she was drunk at a party in the 9th grade. He became obsessed with the hot girl who said hi to him once and she didn’t even remember it. Who is the shallow one now, Dan? You called her the love of your life, but you never even knew her.

Dan versus Chuck is the classic good guy versus bad boy. The bad boy Chuck you are desperately trying to change or the good guy Dan who is going to drive you home. Chuck is your escape and Dan is the guy that saves you.

“You are disgusting and I hate you.” — Blair Waldorf

“Then why are you still holding my hand?” — Chuck Bass

This is the allure of the bad boy. What you hate about them is also what you love about them. There is a fine line between love and hate. The opposite of love isn’t hate, it is indifference. A little part of me actually enjoys Blair and Chuck’s hating moments over their loving ones. Am I the only one who finds their “war” to be great foreplay? The hate passion is real.

“You had someone who loved you unconditionally, treated you right and wanted to be with you every day and then you threw it all way.” — Dan Humphrey to Blair Waldorf

This is the quintessential difference between Chuck and Dan. Dan “treated her right” and that is all he has. He is nice on paper and nothing more. He is not forbidden. He is not dangerous. He does not make her feel anything. He loves her for who she is, but this is not enough to complete her.

“I love you so much it consumes me.” — Blair Waldorf to Chuck Bass

A bad boy is a challenge. He is a puzzle. He is nothing without his problems. The satisfaction in “fixing” him is at a high. It is a rush that consumes you. The whole fun is overcoming every challenge together. It is that on top of the world unbeatable feeling. That is what makes you Bonnie and Clyde, partners in crime, equals. Stronger with each other than alone. Chuck is Blair’s weakness and her strength. Yet the vulnerability Chuck brings Blair is not weakness at all, it is truth.

“I am sorry for losing my temper the night you told me Louis proposed to you. I am sorry for not waiting longer at the Empire State Building. I’m sorry for treating you like property. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I loved you when I knew I did. But most of all, I am sorry I gave up on us when you never did.” — Chuck Bass to Blair Waldorf

This is Chuck’s defining moment of vulnerability. This is the moment every girl waits for. The truth is finally screaming. You have told us we were right and you were wrong. In the past, Chuck hid his emotions and wore his pride on his sleeve. Blair gave him the strength to tell the truth. While Chuck was leading with honesty Dan preys on vulnerability. It is not a secret Dan loves a damsel in distress. This hero complex seems noble to the untrained eye. However, in reality, Dan just wants you to need him. He wants to be there for you when no one else is just so he can rub it in your face later.

“I’ve been there for you when no one else was.” — Dan Humphrey to Blair Waldorf

Do you want a medal, Dan? Instead of whining like a little girl, be a man and fight for the woman you love. Blair was a pregnant runaway bride, give her a break. Let her blame it on hormones. Dan is the definition of “no good deed goes unpunished.” Was Blair taking advantage of you? Probably…but throwing it back in Blair’s face replaces all the good Dan ever did. It makes the good deed ingenuine. If Dan truly made Blair happy, he would not have to list everything he has ever done for her. His actions would speak louder than his whiny words.

Dan’s charm is being your hero but if he can’t save you, he has no idea how to win you over. He needs you to need him. He feels complete when you are an absolute mess and he gets to fix you. Thus explaining his relationship with Serena.

Chuck doesn’t need you to feel complete. He is “Chuck Bass.” You don’t need him, you want him and that is the ultimate difference between a bad boy and good guy. Chuck is the escape. He is not there to pick up your glass slipper at midnight. He is not that guy. He is the guy you run to and you have no idea why. He is the one that you break all your “rules” for. He is the one that “gets you” and you can’t explain it. Nothing makes sense anymore, but nothing makes sense without him. Everyone and their mother thinks you are crazy, but you don’t care what anyone else thinks.

He gives you a love you did not think was possible. You fear it because you know your world is forever changed.

“Your world would be easier if I did not come back.” — Chuck Bass

“That’s true. But it wouldn’t be my world without you in it.” — Blair Waldorf

This love is difficult, this love is hard, this love is worth it.