Jen Sager

Jennifer Lawrence Poops. Snoop Dog poops. Your mom poops. The Pope for sure poops. Anyone who ever eaten food has pooped.

I have a pathological fear that the babysitter will fall so in love with my dog that she or he will inevitably kidnap her.

I’m becoming a professional wedding crasher.

I always wanted to do everything and excel in everything. I wanted to make people think I was perfect. But when I couldn’t do it all and I couldn’t keep a grip on everything, my life fell apart.