Jen Glantz

Memories are odd. They come and they go as they please. And sometimes, when we desperately try to remember something, like a person’s name only seconds after meeting them, it feels seemingly impossible.

It takes patience and time and even relapsing every now and then to realize how we’re going to become the better version of our darling selves.

We spend four years taking tests that challenge our noggins to memorize lines from textbooks and spit it up onto scantrons. Now, in order to seek freedom and in order to dazzle hiring managers some more, we need to ace another test?

Whenever I move to a new city, one of the first things I’m attracted to is the idea of joining a gym.

Yo. You’re hot. That really you in those pics? Hope you not Catfishin’ me.”

Twerk (n., v., adj.)

Stop walking around telling people what you want and how badly you want it. Take all that time, that energy, those words, and do something with them.

Is this how we’re going to remember our lives? Instead of enjoying concerts that we paid big bucks for, we’re spending the time looking through the tiny screens of our phones to capture blurry photographs that we’ll later slap a Hefe filter on.

Forget the period of time when you saw it in his eyes that he felt you weren’t good enough for him, anymore.

So mom…engaged friend… creepy stranger on the Subway…Rabbi Yehuda, listen up.

My eye wouldn’t stop twitching today and I bet that if it had a voice it would probably try to say the following.

1. I have an exponentially large crush on you and these butterflies will keep sucker punching me in the gut unless I do this.