Jen Glantz

4. Mondays.

5. Sundays.

People used to love to ask me: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

My brother woke me up in sheer panic.

“Oh man, it looks like Valentine’s Day is on a Friday this year,” I say as we’re going down, down, down.

There was pizza in my hands and there words pouring out of my mouth about how my first week at my new job was.

Is it nice down there, in that burrow where you spend the winter hibernating in?

Before the JDate account, the Tinder App, the mutual friend option on Facebook, the AOL chat rooms, dating was done through the pulsating nerves of our hearts. Not our fingertips. It was done with our voices. Not our keyboards.

1. A hair tie. They come in packs of 50, 100, I’m pretty sure Costco even sells them in bulk!

The most common question guys message me after reading my online dating profile is Why? Why the heck did I leave sunny Florida for this place.

Throw your idea of a fashion sense out the window.

Our resolutions often stay unchecked off our lists, with the best intentions, like how sometimes our shoelaces dangle on the concrete, making us fully aware but temporally unable to do anything about them.