Jeffrey Ellinger

Still you still work at the group home and hope every moment you take breath that the two of you will marry someday, and also you write for Pitchforkmedia.

What you’ll do then, have your conquests read your beautiful fiction about making smoothies or your blog posts about 7 Things That Make You Realize You Are Not Quite An Adult But Almost And How You Are Falling Out Of Love With Her Because You Are Just Twenty After All. Have them read these crucial words in front of a camera

She wore a messy bun and spoke with an accent and always asked what were my plans.

44. Go back and scroll through the database that has come to represent all the failure in your life.

You may not be aware of a Christian band channeling Pere Ubu, Jello Biafra, Gordon Gano, Man or Astro-Man, G.G. Allin, The Sex Pistols, and Devo.

Then you got in bed and I began to understand. The roses had not been for me, nor had the undressing. Nothing had been.

I wish I didn’t have a phone, like a baby bird. I wish I didn’t have bills, like a baby bird. I wish I never thought about how many social media followers I had, like a baby bird.

When I said we weren’t right for each other because we argued too much, that was a lie. We argued too much because we weren’t right for each other.

The Businesswoman’s naturally blonde hair, she told me it was the kind “women kill for.” She struck me as someone who ran track, maybe hurdles, all through high school and college. We saw each other only twice.

Though that word, “alone,” my pumpkin patch, no longer do we even know what it means. Always we are by each other’s side. You are not alone, and I am not alone, when we would ever want to be alone?

12. I’m never sure if I’m using the phrase ‘mutually exclusive’ correctly.

“Good, yeah,” she said, a loose grip on her phone. And the way she held it, it seemed like a weapon.

Kissing can make you believe you are a god.

We go to parties and laugh when we get home, falling on top of each other with a rawness we love.

Something like, “Jesus was angry as balls when he threw those d-bags out of the temple” is acceptable.

First, a thing floating through infinity. There is nowhere it is not, and nothing it can not do.

5. ‘Who Is The Most Attractive Hipster Essayist?’– Molly Young v Megan Boyle v Sloane Crosley and so on

3. The feeling of proposing marriage or saying yes to a marriage proposal