I’m Having A Quarter-Life Crisis (And It’s Perfectly Okay!)

Let me start it off by saying, we must probably be on the same wavelength if you are reading this.

Most of us now are working our asses off from an 8-hour work plus overtime. Some may be having their tiny own ways of keeping up with life, like online shops, part time jobs, and the like. And others may just be lying in bed and probably just browsing their smartphones, drinking cappuccinos in some well-known coffee shops and just plainly enjoying the luxuries of life. (Btw, no hate on that nor jealous!) Cheers for we are definitely on the same generation.

Now the thing here is, how does it feel to be at this age? Is it really the life you pictured you’d be at 23, 25 or 30? I’m telling you now, it isn’t. I repeat. It is not.

If our early 20’s is the time where the craziest things happened, our mid must probably be where the most crucial part of a person’s life lies in. I’ve figured it out when I realized when I contemplated about my life and where it’s heading to.

Imagine the question “What do you want to do in life?” turning into “What are you doing in your life?”

You meet an acquaintance back in your college and they ask you, “Hey, how are you? Where do you work now?” As if you are expected to actually have one. You see? That simple question just gives you more to ponder and I’m totally not liking it. Because, here I am, sitting on my chair, right in front of my office computer, drinking my very own taste of 3-in-1 coffee and just wondering about doing anything else but my daily grind.

The idea of taking risks scares the hell out of me.

This is the stage where we make the biggest decisions in our life. And that we all know, few (or more than that) of these decisions at mid-20’s will completely make or break you! Though people at mid 20’s, like me, are very much adventurous, coming out of your comfort zone is suuuuch a huge thing – whether it be about your career, relationship and/or family. Yes I have all the freedom to do anything in the world I want but something inside me you stops me for an unknown reason. I mean I’m freaked out by the fact that I have the ball in my court and I don’t want to screw it all up.

You become “paralyzed.”

Becoming indecisive. At this age, you think about sooo many things. You could even write a book of your thoughts, seriously. Should I go abroad and work there? Go to grad school? Attend trainings and stuff to provide more quality work? Actually considering other job opportunities? Learning new habits? Travelling? These all sound so good for your chosen path however choosing things to do make you feel more worried that you might not get the fulfillment you were looking for in the first place. Then you end up stagnant – then you’re right back where you started. Sad but true.

I have come to a point I should reinvent myself.

Fitting in with the society isn’t only the problem. You realize “Is this the best of me?” “Is this the ‘me’ I am supposed to be?” I am telling you, this is not peer pressure. I have so many friends with different conditions in their lives – one’s so settled with being a wife, another is working almost 8 years with her company and seems to be so satisfied with it, the other doesn’t really care about getting a job and so complacent with where she is at the moment.

The point is, I feel the need of “rediscovering” myself not because of the people around but because something inside me needs the change.

As what I read in another blog, “Your 20s is the time you not only figure out who you are, but also when you take ownership of your thoughts, actions, feelings and place in the world.”

The truth here is being at mid-20’s could definitely be amazing and terrifying at the same time. You have all your life ahead of you and you are effin’ horrified you’ll mess it up. Few of my friends have become living witnesses on how I question my goals in life, and the purpose. You come to a point that even the degree you took in college would also give uncertainty. Until you realize you are stuck – bigtime. All these boil down into one – I am seriously having quarter-life crisis.

But wait friends! I AM FINE. Yes! I am perfectly okay with it.

In the attempt of fixing my current state of mind, I felt like a road trip would fix everything. I went to a trip to Hongkong alone. To tell you, it does not completely help me. You see, when you’re having quarter-life crisis, you feel dead. You feel motionless. But through this, I somehow felt moving ahead.

For some reasons, I’ve made so many realizations. (I basically did a lot of thinking) That adulthood is somewhat looking for your identity and your place in the world. That at some point in our lives, we are all going to confront ourselves, so might as well do it now. That my best support system has always been there – my friends and family. Personally seeking out friends and family who you can share all my struggles with has helped me immensely. They have been a constant reminder that the challenges of life can not outweigh the people who believe in me.

I can’t say I have completely overcome this stage of life – quarter-life crisis. No. But with the right mindset, I can surely outgrow this! We can all outgrow this.