9 Reasons Why Being A Twink Is A Bummer

1. Some people instantly assume that because I’m a smaller, and softer guy that I’m instantly signed up to be a bottom in the bedroom. Sike tho. If you’re good to give it, you better be good to take it too.

2. Twinks are defined by Google as, “A gay slang term describing a young or young-looking man with a slender, ectomorph build [read: lean and delicate], little or no body hair, and no facial hair.” Those are a lot of beauty standards wrapped up in one name! First and foremost shaving is NOT fun. It takes a lot of time and must be maintained at a pretty consistent rate, lest the stubble on your body starts to show. Until they come up with cheap, painless ways to get rid of hair for long periods of time, this will continue to blow.

3. As smaller guys, we are often viewed as lesser by muscular gay men, who have a tendency to exclusively hang out with other muscular gay men. Not sure if this is a hugely bad thing, because I’m not really into talking about protein shakes and workout regiments. But who knows, some of these jock boys might be sweetie pies underneath the tough, hard exterior. Kind of like a cadbury egg.

4. The types of gay men that are typically attracted to twinks can get a little bit rough and aggressive sometimes. Like I understand that my cute look, as opposed to a sexy or hot look, brings out the animal in you, but could you not pull my lip with your teeth (or could you just do it softer please)? Also, I’d really appreciate you not marking up my neck. I’m not telling you to stay away from my neck, but let’s just not leave proof of our intimacy all over my body.

5. Wrestling or play-fighting with our partners usually always ends the same way — with us on the bottom. It’s not that we’re weak, it’s just that we don’t have a whole lot of body to throw around in these sorts of games. While on bottom, we’re susceptible to anything from tickling to licking (yes, this actually happened to me). Which isn’t all bad, but it’d just be nice to end up on top sometimes too.

6. Many people consider twinks the gay answer to the stereotypical blonde bimbo cheerleader — an assumption that’s wrong. Twinks are thought of mostly as faces, slender bodies, and club socialites. Real talk? I’m no Einstein, but my head is for more than showing off my baby face. And honestly, I’d prefer to be in for the night, eating pizza, downing Diet Coke, and watching Netflix, than out at a club.

7. The twink community has a dominantly white representation. The dream twink is generally a blue-eyed, blonde-haired, 20-something, skinny and toned man (think 90% of the famous YouTube vlogger boys). I don’t know about other twinks, but I’d rather be lumped in a group that’s a bit more diverse.

8. The term has derogatory roots. Twink is oftentimes associated with the phrase “twinkle-toes,” which is intended to insult a man for being effeminate.

9. At the end of the day, it’s just another unwanted label with characteristics that attempt to box people in so that society can quickly and easily understand them. Because god forbid people deviate from the personalities and personas that everyone is used to.