Jason Rearden

Why this person, why right now? Don’t get married because there’s a child on the way or because it makes sense financially or because all of your friends are wifed up and you’re the last man standing — it sounds stupid and obvious, but people hastily marry for the wrong reasons ALL. THE. TIME.

Audience members laughed, cried, broke out in cold sweats, dropped to their knees and made praying motions while repetitively swaying back and forth, sobbed, yelled, screamed, jumped, covered their faces and more today on Oprah! Seriously. Video inside.

Using statistical analysis, this UCF professor recently caught over 200 students cheating on a midterm exam. He proceeded to dedicate an entire lecture to how he caught them, how he felt, and what would happen if they didn’t come clean (they wouldn’t graduate). Shortly after the lecture, over 200 students admitted they had cheated. Video of the lecture inside.

Ex-jetBlue employee Steven Slater, who went viral earlier this year by walking off his job by opening the emergency exit and sliding down the plane’s inflatable slide, has made a rap song called “I’m a Rapper Now, B*tches,” and a video to go along with it. Overall, it seems pretty embarrassing. Video inside.

No idea about the context of this video other than that it appears to be at an amusement park, perhaps behind the stage of an ongoing concert, and possibly in a country that is not the United States. In any case, these mascots are pretty pissed. Video inside.

Yes, these are really, actually, truly on Wikipedia (and yes, they actually have these illustrations). Worried Glenn Beck/ Sarah Palin’s America is going to try to ban Wikipedia when they find out about these entries. How else are they going to keep their children from finding out about “Bukkake?”

As of 5:34 PM EST, 4chan is down, and we can only assume this is the first major disaster in Web War I (WWI) – a war 4 chan’s anarchic /b/ messageboard declared on the microblogging/sharing platform Tumblr early last week.

Someone figured out what the internet’s going to be like in 2020. Lots of hackers, interplanetary connectivity and robots. Infographic after the jump.

“These hipsters constantly steal our memes and claim them as our own. They even plan their own little ‘raids.’ They also refer to themselves as a secret cult, obviously they are just copying off of Anonymous. They are organizing a ‘raid’ against us at this very moment. We cannot stand for this.“

An in-depth feature by Brendan Kiley at The Stranger this August reported that the percentage of cocaine seized by the DEA cut with a cattle deworming drug called levamisole has risen from 1.9% in 2005 to 78.2% in 2009. Levamisole has been documented to cause agranulocytosis in humans – a condition that can result in anything from diarrhea to fever to “skin infections” to “sores in [the] mouth or anus” to death. And no one can really explain why it’s in our cocaine.

Outspoken liberal pundit Keith Olbermann returns from his epic and controversial 3-day exhile from the upper echelons of MSNBC news “analysis.”

MSNBC news host Keith Olbermann, one of the nation’s most outspoken liberal pundits, has been suspended indefinitely without pay for giving cash to three democratic candidates. This represents a violation of NBC News’ ethics policy.