Sneakers, Not Heels: 9 Weirdly Simple Things Men Find Sexy
Everyone is different and it’s impossible to reduce the complexity of all people into simple listicle stereotypes, but from a long study of various men in my east coast friend group, here’s what your average Joe really finds sexy.
1. Cotton intimates are just as sexy.
Satin underwear? Silk? We don’t need anything ornate. Cotton boy shorts from Target are just as sexy as that $200 pair of underwear from the expensive lingerie store.
2. All boobs are relevant.
Mass media has painted a false picture. Sure, your average guy does love big breasts to the point of preoccupation. But we really do love all kinds of breasts. I’m sure 3/4 of guys would take a world of diverse breast sizes and configurations any day over a world where all women had huge breasts. Small, large, even saggy, we don’t just love big breasts; we love all breasts.
3. Most guys don’t care about expensive manicures.
If you like nail art or crazy long acrylic nails, that’s fine it just makes no difference to men at all. We are indifferent to it. All men surveyed for this article said they find nail art to be a turnoff and prefer it when women keep it simple—either a nice basic color or just clean and natural cuticles.
4. Your quirks are the keys to our hearts.
Typically when guys fall in love they end up falling in love with the one thing that is off about your personality or body. For instance, here are a few sample quotes from guys surveyed for this article talking about their favorite things about women:
“My girlfriend has the best sweat and BO during sex. The smell turns me on.”
“My wife has this amazing social awkwardness. Like, it’s not some front or thing she does to appear cute. She’s so clumsy socially and it makes me love her more.”
“This girl I went out with was not that physically attractive, but her noise was so cute that I just couldn’t help but melt into her.”
“I love a woman with out-of-control pubic hair.”
“My girlfriend has acne, even at 30. When we first started dating I sort of thought it was weird. After being together, though, it just feels like something that makes her even more special to me.”
5. Dirty hair? Men don’t care.
Spending money on a blowout so that your hair looks “perfect” seems ridiculous when you can just go out as you are since we won’t even notice the difference. Or, better yet, wear braids. If you Google “Do guys think braids are sexy?” the first two results say we don’t. This is nonsense, and let this article set the record straight. Guys definitely think braids are sexy. The clean and shiny blow-dried look is alluring but can also feel soulless and fake. Braids give your hair an interesting texture, and even the dirtiness exudes a raw sexual energy and a fun playfulness.
6. We have a positive perception of the female form.
Although there are some bad apples out there that try to police women’s bodies to make up for their own insecurity, most men don’t even know what cellulite is, let alone care if you have it. Skinny, big, too tall, too short, unique face, a face that’s too normal—we tend to see things under a positive light and find it all appealing. In fact, more times than not we might find what you perceive as a flaw to be alluring instead.
7. Personality really, really matters.
Men are unequivocally obsessed with looks. No one is going debate this point. Stereotypes, though, constantly underestimate how much personality really does filter the way men look at women. Highlights from my survey:
My. Fiancée. Has. The. Sexiest Voice and command of langauge. I’m in love with all of her, but her voice has these chords that are like magic to my ears and create this heavenly aura around her at all times.
“My wife has read Strangers in Paradise, and that’s everything to me.”
“I am a chill guy, smart, but not so ambitious, and what really made me fall for my girlfriend was how much she cared about her job and the art she does on the side. I feel like if you look at her and you don’t understand this part of her personality, you can’t even really see her.”
8. Sneakers can be sexier than high heels.
High heels are obviously arousing. They elongate the legs, arch the back, and carry a strong connotation of sex. However, most guys are equally aroused by a girl wearing a dope pair of kicks as we are by you in Saint Laurent stilettos. The reasons are manifold, but in short it’s relatable. We might not always understand the fashion logic behind your fancy high heels (unless they’re “fuck-me heels”), but we can always appreciate the simple design of a Superga or a colorful pair of custom kicks from Adidas.
9. Simple clothes—not fancy dresses—make us want to marry you.
Similar to sneaker fever, men fall hard for women who wear the most basic clothes. A tee and jeans or a simple dress bring out your body, not the fashion, and that makes our mouth water—but it also makes us feel closer to you. We don’t want the artifice, we want you. 
