How Does One Sleep When They Love A Fish That Has Taken Flight

And every once in a while
a fish
jumps from the sea
shimmering blue
like a sliver of god
and he has blonde hair of the king
eyes that trap the ocean
the hand that finds the part of your back that’s always wanted to be found
friends that are welcoming and loving
sex that isn’t sex
but love making
kisses that last hours
not minutes
but then there are moments where he jumps so high
that the sun blocks him
blinding you
and you don’t recognize him
and in these moments you are alone
and unsure if in a moment he will slip through your fingers and you’ll be alone
to gaze down
at the thousands of fish swimming below
and be alone again
I’m fine at being alone
until I’m alone again
I’m strong until it doesn’t work out
again
and then I’m weak
I sit on the floor
trying to hard to see your light
even when you are not your light

will this work out again?
I look up
holding my hands to block the sun
are you there?
or was this a figment of my hearts imagination?
meant to be fleeting
and sweet
until it wasn’t sweet anymore?

And how does one sleep?
how does one sleep
when they wish to love a fish
that has taken flight?