5 Ways Feminists Are Literally Like Nazis

1. Feminists have killed millions of people

Ha ha. Okay, not really, but there is this chick. She calls herself Femitheist.

She wants to reduce the male population by 90%, keeping a few prime specimens around for sperm farming. She claims to understand the precise mathematics required to maintain human genetic diversity, even after 90% of men have been …. eliminated. The elimination phase will presumably be slightly more environmentally friendly than dousing men with Zyklon B and burning the corpses, but who knows? It might have been crass, but gassing and burning did work for the Nazis.

2. Feminists have killed millions of people redux

Okay, millions are dead, but feminists say they weren’t people. People are not real people until they have exited the uterus. According to the Guttmacher Institute, there were 43.8 million abortions performed globally in 2008 and even if that rate has slowed somewhat, that’s still way more deaths than the Nazis achieved, although they did get stopped before the full program could be rolled out. Oddly, even to feminists, some of the not-people who were killed before exiting the uterus were in fact people.

According to feminist website Jezebel, the world is missing 60 million girls (who are indisputably people), because those girls were aborted before they could be born. This leaves feminism in the peculiar position of either declaring that brown and black fetuses are people while white fetuses are not, or declaring that abortions are only wrong when brown and black people have them. Either way, some fetuses are girls and they are dead, and some fetuses are just fetuses and can’t be dead because they were never alive.

Some humans are more human than others.

3. Feminists irrationally hate a group of people for no good reason

Nazis hated Jews and blamed them for everything bad that happened to Germans. That whole World War One thing aside, the Jews were destroying the German economy! The whole society was degenerate and debauched and it was all the Jew’s fault! Whipping up a frenzy of hate, Nazis were able to convince ordinary, sane Germans that hey-ho, the Jews must go! Feminists hate men, and blame them for everything bad that happens to women. For feminists, “man” is a synonym for “rapist”, “abuser” and “misogynist”.

Whipping up a frenzy of hate, feminists have been able to convince ordinary, sane people that men need to be taught not to rape and that domestic violence is something that only men do to women. This has the strange effect of declaring that women are not human, because all humans are capable of the full range of human emotion including anger, rage, jealousy, bitterness, vindictiveness, resentfulness and wrath, all of which tend to lead towards acts of violence like rape and intimate partner violence. The only way women cannot engage in either of those things is if they are not human. And once again, some humans are more human than others.

4. Feminists are White Supremacists

The Nazis believed in the superiority of the white race and even though Jewish people are pretty white, they are not the right kind of white and didn’t count. Feminists believe in the superiority of white, college educated women and fight tooth and nail to ensure they have free birth control, free tampons, room to sit on the subway, leeway to bang into men on the sidewalk, the right to tell rocket scientists what to wear, and other important issues that affect the well-being of white, college educated women. Other women have issues like being sold into sex slavery by ISIS and dying in childbirth due to substandard healthcare but those things don’t affect college educated white women so they don’t count.

5. Feminists control language and media

The Nazis may have been the greatest propagandists to ever have lived. By carefully controlling the media and directing public sentiment towards blaming Jews for everything, they were able to successfully rally the nation into committing genocide. Sure, there have been other genocides, but the Nazis pulled theirs off with some real style and aplomb, particularly when it came to media, and that required some serious control. When Time Magazine ran its annual poll of words to ban in 2014, they included the word “feminist” and unsurprisingly, it won by a landslide. This was upsetting to feminists. Imagine if der Spiegel ran a “words to ban in 1938” poll and “Aryan” was the landslide victor? Herr Goebbels would have been pissed. As pissed as feminists. They forced Time to apologize and withdraw the word from consideration.

Feminists really hate being compared to Nazis and it’s easy to understand why. The Nazis were horrible people who murdered millions of people and would have happily murdered millions more. Reduce the population by 90% levels of murder. If feminists would like to avoid being compared to Nazis, it might help if they stopped acting like them.