Why I Chose To Stay (I Did It For You)

Our story started as if we were living in each other’s hopeless dreams. You are a type of guy who owns his own world, and will courageously give everything for the sake of your future. While I stayed as your best friend and your sister as well. Our paths, crossed as if we are really bounded to discover what the universe offers us. Until, the day that the fall of gravity made us realize everything.

You have been a true witness of how love yet cruel lies conquered my peaceful self, how I always look for you whenever someone gets to leave me behind, you are not just a friend to me but a protector as well. You serve as my shield against sorrow and pain. You never even made me feel worthless. And that’s when I realized that I should stop looking for my very own prince charming slash knight in shining armour, because he is already by my side ever since.

Fear crept through me when I found out about my feelings. You know it’s real love when you are scared of what will happen. You know it’s him, without knowing any valid reason. True love doesn’t always signify fast heartbeat or even that butterfly in your stomach feeling. You just know it, and you don’t know why.

You told me I am your first love, first crush and first heartbreak, if ever. But like any other love stories, the broken heart strings of mine stopped me from accepting you. I am too scared to take another heart breaking risk of what fate will bring me when you came. Our best of friends moments disappeared like dust clouds. Your absence filled the silence of my heart. I lose someone so special for the fear of losing him in my life.

You gave me so many reasons to stay. You took me to places I never expected to see. You gave me enough assurance when you said you will introduce me to your Mom, and we will bring her sunflowers in her grave during her birthdays. You opened up your life, your struggles, and your doubts for me. And that’s why I am doing this for you.

But this courage I have for now, will prove how I tried to fight back what has been gone. And to save ourselves for all the time and space that we both wasted. I chose to stay and be a part of you because this time, I will never let my fear swallow my dreams for you. Maybe, it’s too late to accept me, too hard to forgive for the times that I decided to drift away from you. I know you are still there, waiting so please, come back. Please.

My heart always speaks to every poem, essay and literary piece that I wrote for you. The stars will let you know about my wishes, the warmth of the sun and the waves in the ocean will remind you of our bucket lists, and our memories will remain deep within our hearts to ponder.

I chose you. And I am willing to have my heart be broken by you.