20 Things I Wish My Mom Already Knew Without Me Having To Tell Her

1. I took her two nicest cashmere sweaters to college with me.

2. I’m really looking to expand my sexual horizons.

3. I worry about not being as successful as her.

4. There are a bunch of caked hard boogers behind the headboard of my bed from years of wiping them there.

5. I have a radically different view of “binge-drinking” than she does.

6. I’m not actually amazing at everything I do — actually pretty mediocre at most things.

7. At college, I mix my darks and whites and colors all together and DGAF.

8. I spend countless of my “homework” hours scrolling through Tumblr.

9. It’s weird when she follows my friends on Instagram.

10. Most days I seriously doubt the value of my college education.

11. I have a yeast infection right now.

12. I’m not crazy about Joni Mitchell.

13. I sometimes (often) doubt that kindness is always the way to succeed in this world.

14. She has a double chin in her facebook profile picture.

15. I try not to call her everyday so as not to annoy her.

16. I love podcasts too.

17. I don’t care that much about “that article she just read.”

18. Most books I read I still wish she was reading aloud to me.

19. There must always be eggo waffles in the freezer.

20. I like hanging out with her more than most of my friends.