Jamie Varon

If anyone tells you that they know the secret to finding everlasting love, run the fuck away. They’re lying.

I’m always wanting more, more, more, and contentment is a standstill. If I’m satisfied, what else is there to work towards?

You’re a relatively chill person to be around.

The tiniest things are making you want to scream and lash out and throw someone into a pit of lava.

Nothing is ever as black and white than when it exists in your mind.

Your suffering—and your rise from it—will define you.

I have never wanted to be small, in ambition, stature, or life.

Be the punctuality you wish to see in the world, people.

There is true strength in seeing the light in others, even when they cannot see it in themselves.

You should be ashamed of yourself, cilantro. YOU RUIN FOOD. YOU RUIN FOOD THAT INNOCENT PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO ENJOY.

If there’s one thing that’s going to ruin me, it’s my envy.

*dies*

The only plan you have after work during Lazy Streak Time is to go home and immediately take off your pants.

Prepare to want to make out with someone immediately.

You deserve a guy who will not propose to you on Valentine’s Day because that shit is tacky.

Don’t get drunk. You know you’re just going to end up crying. DON’T BE THAT PERSON.

Nostalgia can rearrange your memories and make them into a picture that wasn’t true then, but feels true now, brighter somehow and better even.

Please get tested, Joey. There’s no way you lasted ten seasons of rampant promiscuity and you do not have an illegitimate child somewhere.