15 Ways You Know You’re Dealing With A Grown Woman
1. On dating: Do we really need to play these games? I like you, you like me. Let’s do this thing until we don’t do this thing anymore or until we want to do this thing for a long time. I know an Avril Lavigne quote is lame, but honestly, “why do you have to go and make things so complicated?”
2. On her body: Real women don’t have curves, they have bodies. My body is neither perfect nor imperfect. It is a body. You have one, I have one. Some look different than others. Mine is mine and it’s the only one I’ve got, so I’ll just stop kicking the shit out of it and do what feels right to me about taking care of it and that’s that.
3. On other women: Long are the days when I would ditch my friends for a relationship. Nope, ain’t nobody coming between me and my clique (not even you, Kanye!).
4. On “having it all”: I want what I want, I don’t care if that’s “all” of whatever “it is” but I just want the things in my life that will bring me joy. I don’t care if this is “playing small” or “settling for less.” I am not a fucking walking Pinterest quote. I will do what I want when I want and the only person who should give a shit about what I do with my life is ME and if I’m loving it, then well, that’s all there is to it.
5. On relationships: I embody the give and take. I don’t expect you to do shit that I won’t do for you. I spend more time understanding you than I do forcing you to change. I do my best to treat you the way I want to be treated and I take responsibility. I also have no patience for your commitment issues (or mine, for that matter) – we’re doing this or we’re not, chop chop!
6. On where she is in her life: I probably haven’t achieved all the things I set out to achieve and that’s okay. It’s not that I’ve given up on my dreams, it’s that my idea of a dream life has changed. Honestly, I was a child when I thought up my dream life, I knew nothing. At that time, the best part of my day was eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
7. On beauty: This is how I look. Some days I feel baller and beautiful and all that. Other days I don’t. What-the-fuck-ever.
8. On clothes: Am I really about to let the arbitrary size on a clothing tag dictate how good I feel about myself? Uh, no. I’m gonna get this here piece of fabric that fits my body perfectly, say fuck off to the tag, and kill it on the daily.
9. On guilt: Guilty pleasures? Noooope, just pleasures. Guilt-free food? Nooope, just food I put in my body without any guilt attached to it. Doing shit out of guilt? Noooope, bubye. I do what I want, guilt-free forever and ever amen!
10. On food: I had cake for breakfast today and it was everything. Being grown means owning my decisions, no judgments, no guilts, nothing. If I want cake, I shall have cake. Nobody puts cake in the corner!
11. On cake: We covered this one. You know my feelings on cake.
12. On figuring it out: I’ve made plans, lots and lots of them, and each time, these plans have been derailed in a big way. I’d rather just let my life unfold than try to spend time forcing my life to happen. I don’t have my shit together, I don’t have anything figured out, and well, whatever, I’m cool with it.
13. On wine: Nectar of the gods, why you always so good to me!
14. On hangovers: This feels like a step back in the pursuit of Grown Womanhood. It hurts. I hurt. Everything hurts. Talk to me tomorrow.
15. On life: Bottom line, I’m making my own decisions, regardless of what people think or what I should do or what is the “right” thing to do. I own who I am, what I look like, and what I do with my life and it’s liberating as fuck, so I’m going to keep doing that. Now, where’s my wine and cake! 
