In Defense Of The Selfie

As the internet is wont to do, the collective “they” have decided that a “selfie” is uncool and unfit for their precious Instagram streams. The selfie warrants the wise people of the internet to snark and roll their eyes so hard they risk popping out their sockets. Simply put: there is no place for your face on the internet. Noted!

But, I say, screw whoever is making these internet rules. I think we can all be done with how the internet does this. The internet decided it loved True Detective, despite it being cliche and done (a show with two white men investigating sexual abuse against women, how novel!) Remember how the internet singlehandedly made Ryan Gosling the most irresistible man on the planet? Remember how the internet made bacon into a thing? It’s meat. It’s salty and it tastes good when you’re hungover. I’m not sure that warrants the fervent fandom bacon received.

And, ever since Instagram has hit fever pitch, the selfie has been put under fire. The gods of the internet have spoken and they have deemed the selfie as abhorring as liking Anne Hathaway while listening to a Nickelback song. Traitor of the internet! How dare you like a thing we, collectively, don’t like! Who are you to not join in on our snark! The only way you can post a selfie is if you acknowledge how shameful it is that you posted a selfie!

But you know what I say?

I say selfies are fucking awesome. And you don’t have to caption that shit with something self-deprecating just so you can post a picture of your fucking face without feeling like you’ve let down the internet.

Celebrate your face! Be like, fuck yeah, I look great today! Be like, you know what, I like the way my face looks today that I want it to forever be on the internet! I’m so impressed with my own natural face that I’m going to pick great lighting, filter that shit, and wait for hoards of people to like it!

Is it not refreshing to have those amongst us who choose to celebrate instead of cower? To show their face instead of hide behind a phone or computer? What’s wrong with us that we tear down one of the things that’s actually in celebration of ourselves? Why must it be a #humblebrag and not a true brag? Why can’t we be excited about our face, our accomplishments, our goodness?

WHY IS IT SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE TO HATE ON OURSELVES? Why can’t we just put a picture of our face on the internet and have that be, like, more of a positive thing than fried pork?

Selfies are an expression of positivity. Yeah, maybe you don’t see it that way, but if you think a selfie is vain, get out of here. It’s not vain to enjoy the look of your own face. Why is it BETTER to hate the look of it?

This may seem like a non-issue and yes, in the grand scheme of shit to get on a high horse about, this is very low on the list, but it’s worth saying. It’s worth pointing out that the exact thing we’re insistent on judging is actually a really great thing, that while a selfie is not going to exactly change the world, the non-judging of a selfie provides more light and love into a world that could use more of it.

And that, in the wise words of Martha Stewart, is a good thing.