Jamie Iredell
Articles by
Jamie Iredell
A Sentimental Journey Through New Year’s Eves Past And Present
We drank steaming Glintwein and nibbled shashlik while all around us children milled in frilled jackets, each breath a puff of hot life.
One Of My Wedding Vows Was That I Would Never Own A Functional Firearm, And Here’s Why
I had all these teachers who taught me how to safely use firearms, and I had my dad who simply didn’t like them at all, and neither of those things could’ve stopped me from being an idiot with my best friend when I was a freshman in high school.
Why Porn Sucks (Pun Intended)
But like I said before: who cares about the story or the “reality” of the story? It’s about the sex, right? But here’s where I say that’s it’s not about the sex, really, at all.
What It’s Really Like To Be An Alcoholic
When you were young, people would gather at parties to watch you imbibe and exclaim, How does he keep on drinking without getting drunk or sick? This was your training ground.
The 10 Most Disgusting Things I Ever Did While I Was A Smoker
Some idiot once told you that it was good for your plants if you put your butts into the soil, and you want a cigarette bad enough to retrieve even these molding spent cigs, turning some shade between green and blue.
How Unattractive People Really Are
At the park on a weekend, one sees so many hardbodies you’d think you accidentally stepped into a fitness magazine’s photo shoot. Abs jog along the concreted and graveled paths. Everyone playing volleyball does so in bikini and Speedo, and does so gracefully, beautifully.
How To Not Get Arrested For Driving While High On Crack And After Having Drunk A Bunch Of Vodka At A James Taylor Concert
Euphoria washed over me. I felt elated, a welling of good emotion, like I knew that something wonderful was about to happen and I just couldn’t wait for whoever it was to bust through that door and Surprise! Happy Birthday! or whatever.
The Gods Of California And North Carolina Fist Fight In Heaven
By the time I was old enough to realize that it was odd for two grown men to have been “roommates” for so long, when I asked my mother and she laughed and said, “Oh, honey, they’re gay; I thought you knew,” it made sense to me.
The Shape Of Ideas
I met J at the University of Nevada, outside the English Department on a winter day, the cottonwoods of the quad leafless, as J cupped his palms around his cigarette to light it and I bummed that light off him…
What You Can Learn From LSD
When I found the little folded patch of tinfoil in the slot built to house pens and pencils, I remembered the three hits of acid I’d stored there and had one of those why not? moments before the tabs found my tongue.
Never Pay For A Cab This Way If You Can Help It
When the doctor showed up he didn’t say anything till after he’d looked in my eyes, then he asked how I felt, which was, other than a little grogginess and the aforementioned throat pain, fine. Then the doctor looked at me steadily and said, “Your girlfriend’s here. Do you want to see her?”
A Brief History Of Opiate Use
It was with my friends and coworkers at The Pub that I first took morphine. Chris scored a few 30 mg pills and we each washed one down with Budweiser. We kept drinking through the night and the morphine crept in and made for this light, float-y high…