James Altucher

Let’s be straight out honest: Success is a contagious disease.

We’re afraid to be unloved, unwanted, unworthy.

So, everything I dedicated my academic career to was flushed down the toilet. The last time I programmed a computer was 1999. It didn’t work. So I gave up.

Most people are pretty crappy. But not all. And even the ones who are no good and not worthy of your time need a system for you to use so YOU can be happier and leave this lecherous gossipy crack addict thats in your head on the road and kick him or her to the curb.

I was living on my own after ten years of marriage and my kids were visiting me every two weeks I didn’t know what to do with them. I didn’t have a door on my bathroom. I had girl problems. I had money problems. And now I had two tiny people who I needed to entertain.

When was the last time you felt like this little boy?

For every Mark Zuckerberg there are 1,000 Jack Zuckermans. Who is Jack Zuckerman? I have no idea. That’s my point

I go online. I play scrabble or chess. I look at my blog stats. I look at my Twitter feed. My Facebook feed. My blog comments.

Blind people seem to develop super powers with their other senses.

One time I was so lonely I wrote an ad in Craigslist telling people I had psychic powers.

A little push today turns into a big life tomorrow.

Everyone has regrets. Historical is hysterical. It’s easy to look back at the past now and see the road signs we missed. The forks in the road we could’ve taken. Those forks are regrets. Is it bad to look back? Of course not. I can’t help it. I have regrets every day.

6. He doesn’t give any money to charity.

Your spouse is tired of hearing about your job after six months. And you couldn’t care less about hers. Ten years later you wake up next to a total stranger. 40 years later you die next to one.

But if I stood there and said, “going to college is the worst sin you can force your kids to commit”, or “you should never vote again” or “World War II was not a holy war” or “never own a home again”, I would probably be lynched on the spot.

The system is broken, the middle class is disappearing, being carved through the middle by a trillion dollars in student loan debt, and everyone is still raising tuition faster than inflation.

Wade had sex with Karen and now I had to fire him. She was our top designer. And he was also starting to make fun of one of my partners behind his back. He’d do that roll-the-eyes thing whenever my partner spoke.

I’m constantly checking in and out of the Hospital of No Luck. I’m older. I need luck to be constantly transfused into me or I run out of it. Without luck, I’m dead. For me, good luck equals happiness.