Jacob Geers

I have a challenge for everyone who could identify as an anxious perfectionist: try not giving a shit.

“He did not have reasonable suspicion to stop and use force on him,” said Captain Rodi.

It is the leader of this crumbling economy that starry-eyed and stir-crazy conservatives were so eager to praise throughout the last two years.

“I just defeated a filibuster because I needed a drink of water. That removes any opposition to new child care subsidies.”

“Another man forced me to say the phrase, “I’m sorry sir, but I can’t accept this coupon because you aren’t buying the proper brand of lube.”

“It’s true that some of [the money] might [end up terrorist coffers], just as some resources in any nation will find their way into the hands of criminals (ask HSBC). So why don’t we shut down the phone networks to hamper terrorism? Why don’t we ban agriculture in case fertiliser is used to make explosives? Why don’t we stop all the clocks to prevent armed gangs from planning their next atrocity?”

With the sheer quantity of human knowledge increasing by leaps and bounds, it is impossible for every American to be an expert on everything.

“I have said what I wanted to say and I will not say it again.”