Jacob Geers

LOL these are so hilarious. Old people are the best!

Being an adult is hard, am I right?

I’ve noticed this trend with people at cafes. It almost always happens when you’re in a hurry, and want to get your food and/or drink and GTFO. It’s when people make their own f*cking lines.

Love always “Trumps” hate.

This is the best prank you’ll ever watch.

Altice went on to say that the student’s grades actually improved as the year — and their sexual affair — went on.

Nicholas Cage also once did magic mushrooms with his cat.

there needs to be a test to get on the internet.

Bravery is believing that tomorrow can be better, even when it seems like you are surrounded by darkness on all sides.

“There are 6 people in my unit who will never see their ‘free college.’ Because they are dead.”

“You need to stop being so sensitive I did not mean f****t in a bad way I just mean you gay people have a lot of drama. I tried to understand this bi shit you claim to be but you teenagers make stuff up all the time. Youre young you will find a man. You can change. You used to be so clever.” ….Yikes.

I scoff at people who are in love, and the sacrifices they make for that love. I pretend to hold it in disdain, in contempt — as something beneath me. But the truth is, I’m full of shit.

Bender claims that three men, dressed in all black, visited him at his home and warned him against pursuing the topic of UFOs any further. The men left Bender scared for his life, and he immediately shut down all his research and the Flying Saucer Bureau.

Failing doesn’t make you a failure. Nothing great has every happened without mistakes. Virtually everything great that has ever happened in the world has been preceded by a mine-field of f*ckups and missteps.

My mom’s dad passed away when I was extremely young. But her mother, and my dad’s parents, all lived until mid 2013, when they all suddenly died almost within one calendar year.

“I’ve struggled with depression since childhood. It’s a battle that’s cost me time, opportunities, relationships, and a thousand sleepless nights.”

I look to my left by my work station in the back, and there is this mountain of shit on the floor. Instantly I vomited on the floor beside me. I was in SHOCK! I never thought in a million years this could/would happen.

The article, with its eyebrow-raising accusations, was printed just days after Donald Trump threatened Ted Cruz and his wife on Twitter.