This Is Me Giving Myself The Apology You Never Will

So, this is me. I am trying to make myself understand that all of these open wounds are mine to heal and mine alone. Nobody’s coming back to undo what they have done so carelessly and without even the smallest shred of regret. They’re just not.

This is me recognizing that you no longer need to be a painful memory. I have to let you become a life lesson. It won’t happen overnight; chances are, in the morning, the thought of you will still sting. Even so, day after day, week after week, you’ll fade away and all that will be left are just some wise words to live by.

This is me apologizing on your behalf. This is for all the unnecessary pain you caused. This is for your cruelty and disregard towards me. This is for all the moments that scarred my soul and weakened my belief in good. This is me apologizing for all the panic attacks and insecurities you caused. This is me apologizing for all the damage you brought on. This is me no longer letting you live rent-free in my mind.

This is me apologizing for the bitter person you’ve turned me into. This is me apologizing for the fact that you took away a part of me that I will never be able to bring back. This is me apologizing for the fact that you made feel like a burden when I clearly wasn’t.

Finally, this is me apologizing for letting myself be taken advantage of. I am sorry I believed you would be different. I am truly sorry I thought that somehow you would see what you were doing and you would eventually stop. I am sorry that I continued to make excuses for you.

I am accepting your apology and I am moving on. It’s time.