89 Reasons You Shouldn’t Be On Tinder At Age 89

Joe, the 89-year-old grandpappy, is from a generation that thinks "tinder" is something you use to start a fire rather than to get herpes.

By Horatio Miller

Updated 10 years ago, February 19, 2015

Ethan Cole is a young filmmaker who recently pulled a video prank in which he used his 89-year-old grandfather to help him get laid on Tinder. It didn’t work, for either Ethan or the grandfather, but I guess that’s what you get for trying to FUCK WITH WOMEN’S HEADS.

Joe, the 89-year-old grandpappy, is from a generation that thinks “tinder” is something you use to start a fire rather than to get herpes. Ethan set him up with a Tinder profile that misleadingly claims Joe is 21—which is only about 68 years away from the truth, so there’s obviously some fibbing involved.

The video below shows footage from the five arranged dates that Joe snagged on Tinder. Some of the girls react like good sports, while others can’t conceal their disgust at the thought of lying naked in bed with a man who may not have achieved an erection since Jimmy Carter was president.

Best part of the video is when a woman with a very unusually blurry and pixelated face—I’ll assume it’s some sort of birth defect—reveals to Joe the pleasures and mysteries of the art of “pegging.” Joe had somehow managed to go 89 years without hearing about it.