Holly Riordan

I should have stopped liking you when the first red flag appeared. When you started acting sketchy. When you started going missing in action. When you started toying with my emotions, leading me on, making promises you never intended to keep.

When you think too much, you make assumptions. You assume your person is annoyed with you. You assume your person is getting bored of you. You assume you know exactly what your person is thinking without having a conversation with them about it.

Your person should hold your hand. They should play with your hair. They should massage your shoulders. They should kiss your forehead. They should sprinkle little dashes of affection throughout the day -- without expecting it to lead to anything sexual. 

You worry you might hurt the person you love. You hope you live up to their expectations, hope you can make them happy, hope you never let your fears overpower your feelings for them.

They have their hearts set on branching outwards, on bettering themselves, on becoming the ultimate version of themselves.

You can't get used to your person swooping in when something is wrong and playing the hero. You can't rely on them to handle all of your problems for you. You can't forget you are supposed to be a team.

You don’t owe your FWB anything, so if you take a few hours to answer their texts, it’s not a big deal. If you’re too busy to hang out for a few weeks, it’s not a big deal.

You're used to your paranoia being correct. You're used to your bad gut feelings paying off. You're used to suspecting your person is fooling around behind your back and being proven right. 

They will swear they will never repeat their mistakes. They will look you dead in the eyes and promise it will be different this time. They will make you believe their latest mistake has knocked sense into them. They will trick you into thinking they've learned, they've grown, they've become a better person.

They refuse to reflect on themselves. They refuse to apologize. They refuse to admit they’ve done anything wrong.

Instead of getting closure from your conversation, you might reopen old wounds. You might move two steps backward in your healing process.

If you're accusing me of being cruel and heartless right now, just know that I learned it from you.