Holly Riordan

Eight bucks for that teeny tiny shot you gulped down in two seconds? That can’t be right. Thank goodness you’re a lightweight.

A man doesn’t determine your value. Most of them don’t stick around long enough to see the real you anyway.

You don’t have to wonder if he loves you, because he shows it whenever he kisses your forehead as you’re falling asleep.

My relationship hasn’t changed who I am as a person. If it did, then I wouldn’t be with my boyfriend. I’d find someone else, someone who actually allowed me to be myself.

Even if he loves how sweet and innocent you act during the day, he’ll still want you to turn into an animal at night.

Whenever someone else kisses my neck in the spot that used to be reserved for you, it just doesn’t feel right.

Get on your back. I’ll take care of the rest.

I didn’t believe in love potions or hexes or black magic, but I did believe in psychic predictions.

If we ever ran into each other again, we wouldn’t acknowledge the lack of closure. No, we’d act like everything was normal.

Everyone considers you two “relationship goals,” but really, you couldn’t be more eager to be single again.