Holly Riordan

Date someone who acts out your dog’s voice randomly throughout the day, because he thinks he knows exactly what the animal is thinking.

Around midnight, I wake up and see the curtains moving in, then a leg come down into my room, then the other.

I told him I wasn’t interested. He then sent me a picture of him holding an actual human heart.

Unless your friends are kinky as fuck, you should only attempt these dares during a one-on-one game with your partner.

If I have to wait for you to make the first move, then I will, because I don’t want to pressure you or guilt you into a relationship with me. I want you to realize you like me on your own and make a conscious decision to turn me into your girlfriend.

Lean forward just enough to put your breast in his mouth. He won’t mind it. In fact, he might even come from it.

If you aren’t interested in dating me, if you want to be platonic friends with boundaries, then you’re going to have to take your hotness down a notch.

How the hell are we supposed to find our soulmate when it seems like everyone we meet would rather play the field than settle down?

There are certain shows you won’t watch without me, even if that means you have to dodge spoilers for a week straight.

It took me a minute to figure out what the flash of silver in his hand was. By the time I realized it was a pocket knife, he had slit his own throat with it.

I don’t want to get my hopes up by imagining what it would be like to marry a certain man, and then end up getting my heart broken when it doesn’t actually happen.

You’re not a robot. No one expects you to keep it together twenty-four seven.

Maybe I miss you, because I really thought I had a chance with you, and I’m thinking about what could’ve been more than I’m thinking about what actually was.

But as much as I love what we’ve become, I still miss what we were. I miss the sexual tension that felt like fire between us.

Give me a guy who’s as fucked up as I am, so we can fumble around until we create our own version of “happily ever after.”

I love myself too much to put myself through the stress of dealing with your daily bullshit.

I had no memory of life before the undead attacked. To them, that meant I was dangerous.

History: You love to learn, which is why you’ll have the most fun walking through a museum together, holding hands and discussing the origin of paintings and sculptures.