Holly Riordan

Gemini: You aren’t happy with yourself. When other people are around, you act like you have it all together, but when you’re alone, you fall apart. That’s why you settle for less than you deserve. Because you don’t realize how much you deserve.

Mixed signals mean that he cares — but not enough.

She’s not going to plan out all the dates, initiate all the phone calls, and lead all the conversations. She’s not going to be the one doing all the work, putting in all the effort. Not anymore.

It’s not fair that I look different than I did in all of the old photographs of us together. That I’ve had so much time to change, to grow, while your opportunity to blossom was taken away. Your future was taken away.

Rereading old conversations is the most dangerous thing you could do. Because it’s going to remind you of things you have no business remembering.

When I got in my Hyundai and pulled the stick shift into reverse, the backup camera popped on, showing me the area behind my bumper. A little girl was playing in the street, purple chalk balanced in her hand.

She can’t blindly believe that you aren’t going to hurt her. Because she’s believed before. And she’s been hurt before.

You get attached easily. As soon as someone gives you a little bit of attention, you’re hooked on them.

It would’ve been relaxing – except there were those chants again. Coming from the speakers in the wall.

“I was kidnapped with my mother in our car. I was burnt by cigarettes, cut on my face and genitals, and was stomped and punched in the head.”

“We had a middle school teacher murder his wife, his wife’s lover, and the two children of the lover. When I was in his class years before, he would do things like call 8th grade girls whores in front of the class. He also said he had a gun and would kill anyone that ever messed with his family. I guess the warning signs were there.”

Reassurance. She wants to know that you haven’t grown bored of her. Haven’t lost interest in her. That you’re still as in love with her now as you were when you first met her.

Hiding your emotions. It’s okay to be angry. Annoyed. Upset. In love. Don’t hide your emotions to seem like you have it all together. Nobody does.

Stay away from anyone that makes you feel like you’re hard to love. Like it’s an effort to make time for you. An effort to text you back. An effort to listen to your stories. An effort to be around you.

Date someone that enjoys spending time with you, even if that time doesn’t involve speaking. Someone that’s happy just to be in your presence. Just to feel your skin graze up against theirs. Just to look up and be reminded that you’re in the same room as them.

What would you do if you caught someone in a lie?

Canceling plans. Don’t bow out of a party at the last second, because you don't feel like getting dressed. Push yourself to go. Mingle. Meet new people. It might be the best night of your life. It might be the night you find your forever person.

“The husband’s intestines are hanging out while he is being raped, still alive. That’s how the comic starts. It gets bleaker from there.”