I’m Slowly Learning Your Relationship Shouldn’t Be The Only Thing That Makes You Happy

I’m slowly learning you should never rely on a single thing to make you happy. It doesn’t matter whether that one thing is a relationship, your career, a hobby, or your favorite television show. You need to have more than one thing that keeps you going, because if your focus is on one thing and only one thing, then you’re going to struggle whenever that ‘thing’ falls off the rails.

Even if you’re in a relationship with the perfect person for you, there are going to be moments when you fight, moments when you disagree, moments when you aren’t in the mood to be around each other. Even if you’re working your dream job, there are going to be moments when you’re stressed, moments when you’re unsure whether you’re walking the right path, moments when you’re worried about getting fired.

When those moments occur, there’s a higher chance you’re going to freak out if your relationship (or your career) is the only thing in the world that makes you happy. There’s a higher chance you’re going to spiral and assume your whole life is over if you cannot fix whatever has gone wrong. There’s a higher chance you’re going to end up more stressed than you deserve, more insecure than you deserve, more miserable than you deserve.

However, if there are multiple things that make you happy, it puts things in perspective. It makes it easier for you to take a step back and realize it wouldn’t be the end of the world if your relationship ended or if you lost your job or if your favorite show went off the air. It makes it easier for you to accept that sometimes bad things happen, but that doesn’t mean you’re never going to experience happiness again. There’s always more happiness right around the corner, waiting for you.

I’m slowly learning when there’s only thing in the world you care about, your world becomes smaller. Your smiles become rarer. Your chances of feeling fulfilled, feeling successful, and feeling in control decrease.

It’s important for you to care deeply about your relationship and about your career and about your hobbies and even your favorite shows — but they shouldn’t be the only thing in the entire world capable of bringing you happiness.

You should make it your mission to discover more things that bring you joy. Hobbies. Friendships. Travel. Education. Figure out what makes you feel inspired, wired, excited for what the future has in store.

I’m slowly learning how dangerous it is to only care about one thing because a lot of things in this world aren’t going to last forever. And when an important chapter of your life comes to an end, you can’t convince yourself you’re never going to be happy again. You can’t convince yourself your life is over and there’s no point in moving forward. You have to remember that everything is going to be okay, that you have a lot to live for. Not one thing. A million things.